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The Community of Single People: New Data on Who We Are and What We Talk About

In July of 2015, I started a Facebook group, the Community of Single People (CoSP), for people who want to share experiences and discuss every aspect of single life except dating or attempting to escape single life. We are people who want to live our single lives fully, joyfully, and unapologetically. (You can read more about the Community, and how it developed over time, here.)

The number of CoSP members surpassed 2,000 a few months ago. Thanks to the Facebook feature, “Group Insights,” I can now share some other information about who we are and what we talk about. (Numbers are from November 15, 2017. As of that date, there were 2,057 members.)

Top Countries and Cities: Where We Come from

Membership is disproportionately from the United States. I am happy to report, though, that other countries around the globe are also represented in the list of places that many of our members hail from. Also, some of the people who contribute most consistently to our conversations come from countries outside of the U.S.

Number of CoSP members from each of the top countries:

1,299 United States

140 United Kingdom

102 Canada

55 India

54 Australia

45 Philippines

27 South Africa

17 Nigeria

14 Indonesia

14 Kenya

As much as we enjoy our online conversations, many CoSP members also yearn to meet one another in person. That has been happening. Sometimes members report back about their outings and post pictures. Information about the cities with the most Community members may be useful for a goal we have sometimes discussed – creating local chapters, where people can get together. Regional data would be even more helpful, but so far, that’s not available.

Number of CoSP members from each of the top cities:

50 New York, NY

33 Los Angeles, CA

32 London, England, UK

19 Quezon City, Manila, Philippines

16 Seattle, WA

15 Lagos, Lagos State, Nigeria

15 Houston, TX

15 Philadelphia, PA

14 Chicago, IL

14 Toronto, ON, Canada

Gender and Age

Nearly 3 out of 4 of the CoSP members (73%) are women. Again, though, many important contributions are made by the 547 men in the group. (Twelve members do not identify as male or female.)

Most Community members are between 25 and 54-years-old. On the average, the women are a bit older than the men. More specifically:

Ages of the CoSP members, women:

20.5% of CoSP members, 422 people, are women between 35-44

16.6% of CoSP members, 341 people, are women between 45-54

13.8% of CoSP members, 284 people, are women between 25-34

11.7% of CoSP members, 241 people, are women between 55-64

6.2% of CoSP members, 128 people, are women 65 or older

3.5% of CoSP members, 72 people, are women between 18-24

.5% of CoSP members, 10 people, are women 17 or younger

Ages of the CoSP members, men:

8.3% of CoSP members, 171 people, are men between 25-34

5.8% of CoSP members, 119 people, are men between 35-44

4.9% of CoSP members, 101 people, are men between 45-54

3.7% of CoSP members, 76 people, are men between 18-24

2.7% of CoSP members, 56 people, are men between 55-64

.9% of CoSP members, 18 people, are men 65 or older

.3% of CoSP members, 6 people, are men 17 or younger

Who Is Engaged in Our Conversations and Which Conversations Engaged Us the Most?

On the average, there are about 10 new posts a day. Over the past month, for example, there have been 317 posts. Those posts have generated an average of 11 comments and 33 reactions (likes and such) each, though there is a lot of variation.

More than half of the participants are actively engaged in the group. In the past month, 58% have participated in conversations.

Over the past month, of the 317 new posts, here are the ones that generated the most engagement:

  1. Name one thing you do that you might not if you were romantically coupled.
  2. What is the best thing for you about being single?
  3. If you are single, who is your person?
  4. When you are in the supermarket, can you tell who is single without looking for a ring?
  5. Where are the books and movies featuring older single people as the main characters?
  6. I’ll be alone for Thanksgiving this year. Any suggestions for fun things to do?
  7. My family (parents, sibs and their spouses) are planning a big family vacation. I really don’t want to go, but declining comes with its own problems. What should I do?
  8. Do you ever feel like married people just want to be friends with other married people?
  9. What do you think about this article on relationship virgins?
  10. Anyone else hate winter? What do you do about that?
The Community of Single People: New Data on Who We Are and What We Talk About

Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

Bella DePaulo (Ph.D., Harvard; Academic Affiliate, Psychological and Brain Sciences, UC Santa Barbara), an expert on single life, is the author of several books, including "Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After" and "How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century." Her TEDx talk is "What no one ever told you about people who are single," Dr. DePaulo has discussed singles and single life on radio and television, including NPR and CNN, and her work has been described in newspapers such as the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, and USA Today, and magazines such as Time, Atlantic, the Week, More, the Nation, Business Week, AARP Magazine, and Newsweek. Dr. DePaulo is in her sixties. She has always been single and always will be. She is "single at heart" -- single is how she lives her best and most meaningful life. Visit her website at

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APA Reference
DePaulo, B. (2017). The Community of Single People: New Data on Who We Are and What We Talk About. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 19, 2018, from


Last updated: 15 Nov 2017
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 15 Nov 2017
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