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Archives for January, 2013

General

What’s So Important about Friendship?


Recently, I started talking about a new book, Carlin Flora’s Friendfluence: The surprising ways friends make us who we are. Take a look at those introductory thoughts, and then continue reading here.

This post (as well as the one with my introductory thoughts) is a revised version of what I originally wrote. The new version takes into account some feedback I got from Carlin in several emails....
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General

Dear XOJane, Here’s Your Answer

Readers of this blog know that I was delighted by the recent Atlantic article meticulously documenting economic discrimination against people who are single. I even called it the best article ever about the costs of single life. So imagine my surprise and disappointment when I discovered that Helena Andrews at XOJane had written a post calling the article another example of “sad single lady headlines”!

Just about...
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Profiles of Liars: How Men and Women Differ

Before I became so passionate about studying and writing about single life (and not just practicing it), my primary area of expertise was the psychology of lying and detecting lies. I still write a bit about that topic now and then, and have published a few books on the topic.

With Lance Armstrong and Manti Te’o making so many headlines lately, I’ve been asked many questions by people in the media. So with your indulgence, I thought I’d step away from my usual single-at-heart...
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General

The Advice Goddess Talks Singles and Sanity

Amy Alkon showed why she is called the “Advice Goddess” when she answered a question recently from a reader wanting to pin the neurotic label on all single people based on a one-time experience with one single person.

The reader said that she and her boyfriend had shown up for a dinner party at the home of another couple. An hour after the scheduled time of the dinner, a single friend of...
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Marriage

Making Too Much of Make-Up?

Kicking off the new year, the New York Times, on January 2, 2013, invited seven people to talk about make-up. That’s right, the paper of record invited scholars, authors, bloggers, and makeup artists to write about “the power of the rouge pot” for its opinion page. The Select Seven were to address the question, “does it ultimately damage a woman’s self-esteem, or elevate it?”

That’s a question...
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Love & Affection

A Story of Single Life You Have Not Heard Before

I love my single life. I never needed to learn to love it – that came naturally. I’m single-at-heart.

I realize, though, that the same is not true for all other single people. I like reading about their experiences, too, especially if they are good writers.

J. Victoria Sanders is a very engaging writer. Once I started reading her book, Single & Happy: The Party of Ones, I...
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General

How Many Lives Do Single People Have? Bogus Mortality Claims, Over the Years

I admit it, my last post was a rant. Oh, there was science and critical thinking behind my words, but the emotion was pure rant. I was feeling frustrated. (Still am, but I’ll write more calmly this time.) You see, for as long as I have been studying the science of single life, I have been debunking the same old claim that getting married means that you will get to live longer.

In this...
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Marriage

What Is Singlism? Are Some Singles Exempt?

A recent essay on the Huffington Post is titled, “It’s complicated: The psychology of ‘singlism.’” The Huffington Post attracts about a zillion readers, and unfortunately, author Wray Herbert is adding to the complication he describes by his inaccurate description of what singlism really is.

Herbert begins by saying that he “never felt judged, or discriminated against, for choosing to be single or for choosing a partner.”

Then he continues with this:
“So it came as a...
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