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Archives for August, 2012

Love & Affection

Are You Failing Because Your Family is “Badly Broken”?

Do you think that “many Americans don’t succeed because the family that should be there to guide them, and serve as the first rung on the ladder of success, isn’t there or is badly broken” and that we need to dedicate ourselves to “restoring the home where married moms and dads are pillars of strong communities raising good citizens”?

That’s what Rick Santorum told the Republican National Convention on August 28, 2012.

I like to...
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Psychology

Will You Get to Choose Whether to Live on Your Own?

I love living alone, but I realize that many other people really don’t. What I think just about everyone wants, though, is to be able to decide for themselves how to live.

Starting in 1880, and maybe even earlier, and continuing for the next half-century, there was tremendous consistency in how widows, 65 and older, lived. About two-thirds lived with their adult children. Less than 4 percent lived in group quarters such as institutions....
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Regrets? Career Women Have Few

Write a story or publish an article about how women just can’t have it all and so they are rushing back into the arms of their kids, or about how women just really want to stay home with their kids no matter how many fancy degrees and elitist jobs they might have, and you will be an instant media sensation.

Funny, though, about the kinds of stories, including the results of scientific studies, that just don’t get that kind of ink. The...
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Love & Affection

Why Do People Marry Again after the Previous Try Ended Badly?

Did you know that Americans are the repartnering champions of the Western world? First marriage didn’t work? Try again. Next one didn’t work either? Try, try again.

Americans go in and out of marriages and cohabiting relationships so frequently that sociologist Andrew Cherlin came up with a great title for his book about the phenomenon: The Marriage-Go-Round. As he notes:
“…frequent marriage, frequent divorce, more short-term cohabiting relationships. Together...
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General

How I Got from Dunmore to Harvard to Summerland

When I read a particular author or blogger for a while, I often become curious about their background. Who is the person behind the writing? How did they get where they are today?

When my book, "Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It," was first published last year, a journalist at a local publication asked if she could interview me. In case anyone is interested, here are...
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Marriage

Are Single People Treated Like Children?

In Singled Out, I summed up one of the myths about single people in this chapter title: “It is all about you: Like a child, you are self-centered and immature and your time is not worth anything since you have nothing to do but play.” In this post, I’ll share some of my observations of the ways that singles are made to feel as though they are not fully...
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General

‘Single Motherhood’ and the Bigger, Broader Meanings of Family and Love

On the op-ed pages of the New York Times, Katie Roiphe has contributed a rousing moving, and brilliant defense of single motherhood. She urges us to think more broadly about the meaning of family. I accept her challenge and will point to some possibilities that are even farther-reaching than the ones she described.

I am going to focus here primarily on the many important people in the lives of single parents and their...
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General

Are These 8 Lifestyle Changes Better Than Drugs or Therapy?

Roger Walsh is not a specialist. He is a University of California professor of psychiatry with degrees in neuroscience, psychology, physiology, and medicine, and joint appointments in anthropology and philosophy in addition to his primary appointment in Psychiatry and Human Behavior.

On the basis of all that, and maybe also his stint as a circus acrobat, he has a big tip for you: make some lifestyle changes!

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Marriage

The Myth that Getting Married Makes You Healthier: Why the Investment in It?

Years of debunking myths about single people have taught me a sobering lesson: Not only do people believe these untruths, they are invested in believing them. They really want these myths to be true.  Why is that?

There is a mythology about marriage that is very appealing and comforting. The mythology says that if only you get married, you will live happily ever after and you will be healthier and live longer,...
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