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General

Twitter Erupts Over the Phrase, “Starting a Family”

“Starting a family.” It is a phrase that has been commonplace for quite a long time. To many people, it seemed benign. Or they just never thought about it.

Recently, though, it got challenged when the writer Lucy Huber posted this tweet:
Stop saying "start a family" when you mean "have kids". A couple is still a family. A single person and her cat is a family. A couple and their plants are still a family. Three weirdly close roommates could be a family. You...


General

I Was Fine with Dining Alone. My Server Wasn’t.

I love good food, but sometimes what most attracts me to a restaurant is the setting and the views. At one of my favorite Santa Barbara restaurants, I can sit out on the porch on the top floor, and soak in the spectacular views of the harbor just in front of me and the mountains off into the distance. I’ve gone there with friends, relatives, and people I’m meeting for the first time. I also go on my own.



General

Places with the Most Lifelong Single People (and the Most Married People)

Yes, I would love to know where all the lifelong single people are! Until now, though, I have never seen such a list. Often, if an article is going to tell you where the single people are, it is one of those “10 Best Cities for Singles” sort of thing, with information on the proportions of single men and single women. The assumption is that if you are single, you would want to move somewhere that increased your chances of “finding someone.”



General

How Adaptable Are You? Find Out Here

How do you react when something changes, and you had no control over it? For example, maybe a friend changes their mind about what you were planning to do together, or your doctor or dentist retires, or a restaurant loses the reservation that you were so careful to make in advance. These kinds of things probably happen to all of us, more often than we realize.



How we live now

“Dorm Rat”: The Military’s Bias against Singles with No Kids. Guest Post by Dale Nyhus

[Bella’s intro: I’ve been studying housing discrimination against single people for a long time. My colleagues and I found that rental agents are biased against renting to people who are not married. We also discovered that people who practice this form of singlism are not even aware of their biases. When I was doing the research for Singled Out, I learned that there are also forms of housing discrimination in the military. Turns out, I did not know the half of it. Fortunately, Air Force veteran Dale Nyhus knows a whole lot about this, starting with a derogatory term and continuing through restricted housing options and substantial financial disadvantages. I am grateful to him for sharing some of his findings here in this guest post. You can find a more detailed version here and at his website.]