3 thoughts on “Hook-Ups, Hangovers and Hopelessness: How not to Waste your College Years

  • March 20, 2019 at 6:42 am

    It is all about respect, if we teach young kids to respect their bodies; they won’t want to hook up….I am a baby boomer and so appalled at this sexualized culture.Boys have never changed; they will try to get sex and take what they want.

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  • March 20, 2019 at 7:31 am

    I find this article naive, ignorant, and does more damage than good for women. That the author states “It encourages boys to behave badly.” I find quite shocking (there are some really quite damaging implications here…) – for too long the onus has been put on woman to not encourage ‘bad behaviour’, and what we need now is to shift the conversation and start asking why men are behaving in predatory, opportunistic and disrespectful ways. The reasons behind why women end up falling victims of these behaviours are many and complex, and this article doesn’t even scratch the surface of this deeply rooted cultural problem. The fact that the author cites the esteemed Bessel Van Der Kolk would lead me to believe that she has read his work, is trauma aware, and understands the physiological mechanisms behind certain behaviours…but this is obviously not the case. All this article serve to do is pile yet more responsibility and shame on women

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    • March 21, 2019 at 4:50 am

      I totally agree. I don’t know if my “hook up” (no one says that anymore) experiences have been wildly different, but I cannot understand where the author is coming from other than a place of antiquarian fear mongering.
      Women like sex.
      Period.
      Of course no one wants to go in to an encounter thinking a relationship is coming out of it and then get cast off. But that doesn’t have to happen if everyone is up front and knows what they want. Now, encouraging people to reflect on what they like and want and need is all good. Sometimes we get so many message about what we should do we don’t reflect. But then tying rape culture into that somehow? No bueno. Rapists cause rape end of story. Go after them.

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