After the devastation of Game of Thrones and its critics’ aftermath, what sane adult has the bandwith for end of-year stuff?
I feel like my head is popping off: teens in crisis are marching in like so many White Walkers and I feel bereft of things to say to them. Even my own kids: prom dress – check; prom forms – check; college random forms – they keep coming; pay for college – wtf; clothes for a cold college – see me later; bedding – check; grad present – check; 18th bday present – check; lube, oil, filter – check. And on and on.
Someone once came for divorce mediation and said, “I am owed at least $100,000 for the amount of time I spent on kids’ forms.” There’s no arguing that one.
Then there’s the kids’ point of view. These are the words I’m hearing in therapy: done, burnt-out, wiped-out, worn-out, anxious, scared, tired, tired some more, worried about my future, unable to sleep or concentrate, defeated, empty, sluggish, wasted, teachers suck, etc.
About parents – too strict, too mean, too annoying, too weak, too stupid, too sensitive, too overprotective, too underwhelmed, too pushy, too in my face, up my butt, on my tail and so on.
How are we to keep all the disks spinning at once at this time of year.
- Be strong like Sansa, not because of her victimization, but IN SPITE of it.
- Be vigilant like Arya, watchful in not letting people take advantage of you.
- Be mindful like Bran, think before you strike.
- and finally, be brave like Jon, and stand for what’s good and right.
Here are the stages of burn-out according to well known stress psychologist Hans Selye:
Stage 1 – Alarm Stage
First is the “alarm” stage, or what is called the “fight or flight” stage.
This stage of alarm begins when anyone faces a challenge or a difficult situation.
Stage 2 – Resistance Stage
The next stage is what Selye calls the “resistance” stage.
This stage has a longer lifespan than the “fight or flight” stage. It is also the stage in which a person deals with issues more on a psychological basis.
Stage 3 – Exhaustion Stage
The third and final stage is what Selye refers to as the “exhaustion” stage.
During this stage, the alarm stage reappears and causes extreme fatigue, disease, disability, and even death.
(Wendell L. French, Fremont E. Kast, and James E. Rosenzweig, Understanding Human Behavior in Organizations (New York: Harper & Row Publishers, 1985), 650-51.)
Let me know how your year ends.
Photo by Dusts Photography