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What’s Wrong with Me? It’s Not You

Peace photo     So we enter a time in our history where nothing matters, people are angry and the middle class is screwed. College and healthcare cost too much for the middle class. How will young people contribute if they are saddled with debt? As my husband stated so clearly, who will suport the economy if we can’t afford to purchase the goods and services? Right in our own family we have people on Medicaid and people who are millionaires. I kid you not. Income inequality is alive and well.

Many people have asked me what’s the chief complaint of my patients. My answer – it’s never just one thing. That would be a luxury. No, it is many many things piled up. If you’re a man you blame the outside. And rightly. But as a woman we somehow blame ourselves. I remind my patients we are living in strange times, it’s not your fault that everything seems like an uphill battle. I stress every day that I cannot give my children what I wish they should have.

The staggering cost of college is raping the middle class. The cost of heathcare is the nail in the coffin. The perpetual worry that your kids will be shot at school, well that’s just the tip of the iceberg in our insanely anxious time. Try not to blame yourself.

My client was upset because her doctor left a message that her tests were not normal and then it was a Friday at 4p. Wtf. You leave that message before the weekend? She was sobbing. I told her that she could call the answering service and demand to speak w her doctor asap. Thank God he returned the call and said NOT to freak.

I struggle every day with my patients’ and my own anxiety. But it’s a world of anxiety. We need change and we need it fast. My clients are suffering from endless worry. Can they even let their kids out of the house, can they tell their parents they’re gay, can they get a job good enough to pay their loans, is there hope of surviving the middle class, the hatred, the president, the guns?

To live in fear is the ultimate crippling.

It robs you of hope and light.

Try to maintain your grip on what’s important. You, your family and your community. A lady in my town who recently died of breast cancer, leaving 3 three young children, produced a David Mamet play at the vfw. It was nothing short of astounding. We need faith in the arts and our own creativity.

Start with baby steps to get involved. And VOTE!  Colleges are finally providing more counseling. We must do better. Please do not get lost in the political minutae. We have bigger fish to fry.

For our own mental health and sanity try redirecting your thoughts. One of my new clients can’t find a psychiatrist who takes her insurance for her 19 yo daughter who hasn’t left the house in six months. What kind of world is this?  The cost of a private psychiatric eval where I live is $750 dollars for the first meeting. It’s like we’ve all gone mad.

Try breathing, walking, meditating.  Try listening and caring. Try patience and tolerance. What would MLK say? How will we be judged? Make peace not war. We sit in silence while the world looks on.

My practice is full. But the price of our freedom must be collective will not self blame.

Oh, the humanity.

Photo by KTIQS.LCV

What’s Wrong with Me? It’s Not You

Donna C. Moss

Donna Moss was a blog contributor at Psych Central.

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APA Reference
Moss, D. (2019). What’s Wrong with Me? It’s Not You. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 22, 2020, from


Last updated: 23 Feb 2019
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