Coping Strategies

Losing Your First Love – A Guide for Teens


As many of us have learned from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross on death and dying,

the five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.

The same holds for break-ups. Much like a death,...
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Coping Strategies

7 Things Money Doesn’t Buy – Happiness…and More

-Money

How can I explain why I'm so busy smack in the middle of Summer? With the Solstice past and the sun setting, and the Solar eclipse on its way, you would think the world is in perfect alignment.

Well it's not.

Teens and young adults are flocking to get help for break-ups, transitions, college stress, depression, social anxiety and lack of support. I'm glad they're trying to get stronger. The world can be an...
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Coping Strategies

How to Survive your First Break Up – 5 Tips for Sanity

(Untangled)

As is becoming more common knowledge, teen and young adult brains are not fully formed until much later than previously thought (age 12 or so).  So the dysregulated, or more likely unregulated amygdala (emotional life) and pre-frontal cortex (planning ability [take note, boys]) combine in their immaturity to form the perfect storm of intensity (more like around ages 16-25). Kind of like, "Look ma, no hands" on turbinado.  This is why your first, primary...
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Coping Strategies

Meet Me Half Way: 10 Tips for Teens in Therapy

I had recently become aggravated with a client with whom I had been working for

 She complained that she wasn't making progress, that she wanted to make friends, become more confident and get out of the house.  So I suggested that my young adult group would be the perfect, no-risk opportunity.  We went over that it's ok to be anxious and that everyone is very welcoming and all in the same boat.  After months, she...
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Coping Strategies

The Last Dive – 8 Tips for Handling Change

My memory is not so great. But I remember the moment when I arrived at my local pool club and the diving board was gone. No more, they said. Not up to code. And with that my children's childhood dream of jumping in the deep end was erased. Yes, they had done it for a few summers, but everything changes, I had learned again. And again. When my friends changed. When my mother died. When I...
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Coping Strategies

Zero Sum Game – 10 Reasons to Keep Divorce Lawyers out of Therapy

Stop the Madness

Remember that movie "War of the Roses?"  Think it starred Danny  Somehow all these years later, well into the new Millennium and the new Millennials, we still have this idea fixed in our heads that divorce is like the way it is on TV.  Or Divorce Court?  Or the  Divorce can be an ugly, stressful business.  I have a friend in matrimonial law who says it's the worst stress...
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Coping Strategies

I feel Empty Inside -3 Fixes for Feeling Nothing

Anxious, worried and racing thoughts.

Boredom.

Depression.

Self-Harm.

Rinse, Repeat. It is difficult to survive depression and mental illness.  DBT is a treatment devised by a therapist with Borderline Personality that incorporated Eastern Religion into Western Fix-It.  It worked so well it is now widely popular in all types of therapy. It involves mindfulness, breathing and relaxation, learning to regulate the above mood situations.  Yet kids still complain it doesn't last long enough to get by.
Dialectical...
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Coping Strategies

The Divorce That Never Ends – 5 Tips for Teens in the Middle

  Last week I did a Webinar on "Failure to Launch - Revisited" (now on YouTube) why young adults can't get out of their parents' basements.  By putting the blame on our society instead of these kids it was helpful to analyze what makes them powerless in ways beyond their control.

I have also been talking to some lawyers related to cases to encourage them that adolescents and young adults need to have some stake in their...
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