The Anxious Therapist and How I Overcame It

In keeping with the new direction of my blog I'm going to focus more on the self-discovery process. It occurred to me the other day that I was laughing with the client because I completely and utterly understood where she was coming from. Not just the effort of being caring in the therapy setting, but the actual experience of knowing. And then it hit me (like a ton of bricks). No wonder I've been so successful...

Coping Strategies

What is Going On – the Myths of Suicide

What is going on?  Why are these homicides and suicides pervading our lives?  Why would someone who has a family and fame do such a thing?  Why would someone who has it all do this?  Because we know a number of things - and many things we don't know.

My daughter was writing her final essay for an English class that analyses the "American Dream." What we have learned from some great literature like the...

Coping Strategies

13 Reasons to Move On

Why are we glorifying horror.

I'll admit it.  After watching Game of Thrones for the 2nd time I feel a bit less shocked by all the violence.  Is that it?  If we expose ourselves to enough gore we can handle the shock better?  Ask a teenager who likes horror movies or video games.  It gets your blood pumping while at the same time reassures you that you're safe?  Something is going on with all...

Coping Strategies

Tell Your Teen to Slow Down in 3 Easy Steps

When girls are upset they tend to internalize.

I'm no good.

I'm invisible.

I'm not attractive enough.

I'm a loser.

No one would care if I wasn't here.


WHY is this still going on!?  It's 2018 people.  We have explored the trauma of #metoo and how we got to such a dysmal place, of making girls feel bad, but to what end?  Is it that the world is in more chaos than ever or --?  Discussing with my...

Coping Strategies

Dear Mom, 6 facts for Mothers of Teens

On this Mother's Day I am beyond numb from missing my mom for over 16 years. A lifetime. The unfairness of cancer knows no bounds. The torture of watching the most important person you'll ever know seeps into a memory so painful it's impossible to clear from trauma and loss. In the history of life nothing is sadder than watching a mother die.
And yet.
Here I am. Managing two teen girls without a guidebook or a roadmap.
As a...

Coping Strategies

My Ex is Killing Me – Teen Angst 101

He dubbed me.
Just like that.
Stopped liking my posts.
Took me off his snap.
Told his friends he's moving on.
Then he did move on.
Now what do I do?
My friends don't want to hear that I feel numb/upset/empty/worthless one month later.
My parents don't have time to take me to therapy.
I feel hopeless; like it's never going to end.

Now my parents take my phone away because my grades are slipping.

Now my parents want to know...

Coping Strategies

Chaos, Confusion and Control – 3 Simple Truths

Things have been a bit chaotic here in my world.  First I got bit by a dog (not mine, thank god), which is not something you ever expect to happen to you.  It hurt and was shocking most of all.  It's one thing to try to control things in your immediate life, it's another to be attacked out of the blue.  It was weirdly comforting to have my neighbor take care of...

Coping Strategies

How to Make a Change in 4 Easy Steps

Making big changes is hard.  Making little ones, well, why not.  They say to gain a habit takes 30 days.  The older you are, the harder it is.  But right now the young people have it right.  Do not accept the status quo.  Whether it's sensible gun regulation or stopping biting your nails, the trick seems to be in baby steps.

For example, I have a client who wants to stop her OCD hand washing.  So according...

Coping Strategies

What is Self-Sabotage and How do I Stop?

We all do it. Not just teens and young adults but all of us. I don't know if it's fear of success, fear of failure or just plain impulsivity that drives people. Then again, it could be boredom. I think channeling your destructive impulses is one of the main goals of DBT. If only we could focus our energies to something good, like a fierce marshal artist or a flame thrower or a meditator.  But alas...