Technology

Toddlers and Tech: From Alarm to Acceptance

Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that’s invented between when you’re 15 and 35 is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything that’s invented after you’re 35 is against the natural order of things.
—Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
For...
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Sex Addiction Treatment

Naked in Public: An Interview with Therapist and Author Staci Sprout

I have long argued that the literature and treatment protocols for sexual addiction are heavily skewed toward male clients – as if it is only men who act out sexually. At least part of this shortcoming arises from the fact that female sex addicts are less likely than their male counterparts to seek direct help for a sexual problem, which makes them harder...
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Pornography

Celebrity Hypocrisy – It’s Not Just Them

Same Story, Different News Cycle
Fame: Reality TV star Josh Duggar of 19 Kids and Counting was an active, respected member of a highly visible conservative Christian church, and he served as Executive Director of FRC Action, a conservative Christian political group affiliated with and sponsored by the equally conservative Family Research Council.
Reality: Duggar has admitted to molesting at least five underage girls, including...
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Relationships

Dealing with Sexual Betrayal: 6 Things Therapists Need to Know

In the wake of the recent Ashley Madison hack and data dump, sexual infidelity is in the news more than ever. Because of this, a growing number of spouses are actively checking up on what their partners are doing with their free time. Smartphone apps, texts, emails, and the like are being surreptitiously (and sometimes overtly) checked, and countless scores of cheaters are...
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Pornography

Does Porn Re-Wire the Brain?

The Plastic Brain
The brains of human beings are highly adaptive. This is actually one of our most useful evolutionary traits, helping us to not only survive, but thrive. In fact, our wonderfully malleable brains are why we, and not tigers or sharks or bull elephants, are at the top of the food chain. In other words, as humans we are not entirely reliant on our instincts like most other species. Instead,...
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Pornography

Child Porn Offenders and the Sentencing Process: Part Two, Psychosexual Evaluations

Different Motivations, Different Risks

In part one of this posting I discussed the increasingly aggressive sanctions that are levied against most child porn offenders, noting that current sentencing guidelines have been driven primarily by media, political, and social paranoia rather than research based facts about offenders and their behaviors. Essentially, the legal system seems to think that if a person is looking at...
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Addictions

Child Porn Offenders and the Sentencing Process Part One: Recidivism and Escalation

In previous postings to this site, I have written about the differences between sexual addiction and sexual offending, the various types of sexual offenders, the treatment of sexual offenders, and therapist reporting requirements when dealing with sexual offenders. However, I have for the most part left a crucial aspect of this therapeutic relationship unaddressed – advocating...
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Sex & Sexuality

Homosexual Identity and Early-Life Trauma/Development



Can you remember the days when The American Psychiatric Association labeled homosexuality as a mental illness? I can, as can just about anyone over the age of 50, as the APA only abandoned this indefensible stance in the early 1970s. And even after the APA grudgingly chose to recognize homosexual attractions and behaviors as a natural variant of human sexual expression, many jurisdictions continued to criminalize same-sex sexual activity. While those...
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Recovery

Using Technology in Sobriety

Over the course of the last several years, I’ve written repeatedly about the ways in which technology can both facilitate and exacerbate addictions. For instance, drug addicts can purchase and abuse “prescription” medications through the Internet, set up buys with local dealers via text messages, and learn about certain parties – events at which drugs are likely to be prevalent like raves, ragers, and smoke outs – on social media. Meanwhile, compulsive...
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Relationships

Conflict Evolution: Making Conflict Productive

As a psychotherapist, I am constantly amazed by the number of couples who either seem surprised that they don’t agree on every little thing, or who seem unable to healthfully resolve even the smallest of conflicts. What they fail to understand is that healthy intimate relationships are a bond between two different people, each with his or her own interests, thoughts and opinions. Yes, there is probably a lot of common...
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