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Compulsive Masturbation: The Secret Sexual Disorder


Will I Go Blind?

Of all the types of sexual acting out, compulsive masturbation, with or without pornography, is the most secretive and isolating—and also the most common (in both men and women). Because many individuals view sexual self-stimulation as shameful, dirty, or sinful, those who engage in the practice compulsively are unlikely to discuss it with others, even a therapist.

If and when a compulsive masturbator does seek help, he or she is unlikely to do so for his/her sexual acting out. Instead, that individual is far more likely to report anxiety, depression, feelings of loneliness and isolation, and the inability (or lack of desire) to form intimate relationships with other people.

Some people who masturbate compulsively do so as part of their daily routine. These are “morning, noon and night” people who masturbate on a regular schedule, almost like clockwork—when they wake up, before they go to bed, when they’re in a particular place, when some “thing” happens, or when they experience a certain (usually uncomfortable) feeling.

Other individuals are binge masturbators, “losing themselves” for hours or even days at a time, sometimes continuing to masturbate even after physically injuring their genitalia. Binge masturbation is occasionally accompanied by illicit drug use, usually stimulants like cocaine or crystal meth.

Binge masturbators can lock themselves in their home or a motel room for days on end, losing all track of time and life in the real world.

33 thoughts on “Compulsive Masturbation: The Secret Sexual Disorder

  • May 29, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    Hi Rob,

    Thanks again for an excellent article. Not sure if “glad” is the optimal term but I’m reassured to read about other practitioners’ experiences with this too. I do see quite a few clients who will declare themselves “sober” for the week–hey, no porn or compulsive sexual behavior–but then to declare that they binge masturbated for a day to two. Whereas I am not out to shame them about that, it’s interesting to see how these clients present this as a non-issue. From habits to coping strategies to a way to calibrate themselves, the avoidance of deeper feelings provides challenges. I liken it to the person who wakes up with a hangover and to avoid the side affects, reaches for another drink to stay buzzed and numb.

    Again, appreciate the way you addressed and organized your thoughts.

    Reply
  • December 25, 2012 at 3:09 am

    you discribed my life but you were right on the stress releace no druggs ever just the good felling you need it to go to sleep masterbate and afew hrs sleep your good for the day helpsbyou forgetball your problums especially when you marry someone who dose not like to hsve sex with you

    Reply
  • January 7, 2013 at 9:56 pm

    I’m always in the mood and he never is. We have 3 kids, youngest is 3 mo,14 mo &3.5 yrs. I caught my husband master-bating in the bathroom a few months &he was mortified! Seems he’s a regular at it, I found some racing magazines with the half naked chicks in them which is what he’s been jacking off too bcuz he purposely folded the corner of the page with the chick on it. In snooping I found that he’s been uploading mobile porn on his phone daily( when away ), he travels for work so it’s every day he’s gone! Now here’s the problem- he is Never interested in as much as a kiss from me. When he is its on his terms. Sex for him is a good blow job and if I’m lucky he will master-bate me also. He doesn’t do oral AT aLL !! He does not like to penetrate me. I’m always horny and in the mood, ready to sneak Ina quickie at any given opportunity but he always has excuses. First time I advanced him was 7 weeks after having the baby he said”it’s too soon-you have to heal”, even though i was already medically released,next time I tried it was” I’m busy have things to do, next time was ” I’m stressed about bills”… Etc…
    If he’s not willing to “service the engine” then I’m ready to take it to the shop!!!! I’m sick of always getting rejected by him and starting to take it personal now.
    I told him his marriage was going to suffer as a result of lack of any intimacy.
    He finally gave in. Even when he does get intimate he waits until he’s ready to cum then enters me for the last few pumps. I rarely ever reach climax, but usually have to finish myself off.
    I’ve tried everything from dirty phone talk( he says I’m a pervert), sexy panties & lingerie ( he never notices or acts upon), when I roll over in bed & put my arm around him he’s quick to get up. A kiss consists of our lips barely touching. No spooning hand holding , NOTHING !!! We NEVER do anything without the kids , he doesn’t seem to trust anyone to watch them , when I tell him it’s important Ina marriage to have time alone he says”there will be plenty of time for that”, when I ask– when I’m dead and it’s too late?)
    I have a roommate not a partner…… How can I get across to him that I’m ready to stray outside our marriage for some affection??? He’s not attentive and is never around??? So now i ask whats wrong with me that he would rather master bate then have sex with me??? Any help or suggestions guys/gals??

    Reply
    • April 13, 2013 at 6:38 am

      Hello Mrssmc,
      From your post, it looks like we’re two peas in a pod. The only difference is that I’m male, and you’re female. I didn’t know that women had the same problem as men do about building intimacy in their relationships.If you’ll look just below your posting, you’ll see my story. It is quite a lot like yours. My wife, I discovered, was a sex addict. She resorted to masturbation from the age of 6, or 8. At least that’s what she told me. But then, I found out real early in our marriage that I could not believe anything she said about sex. To her, it was always “here’s the body, but don’t dare ask for what’s going on in the mind.” She, in our 50 years of marriage, came to me only once, about 3 years into our marriage. It was one hell of a turn on, let me tell you. To know that she “needed me” was almost more than I could bear. But, as I said, that was the only time she ever did that. It proved to me that those things were in her mind,but, she just never shared them. There was always the fear that if she let anything out, I might find out about the whole thing, and that would be devastating.
      She had a very low opinion of herself. She thought that she was a change of life baby that wasn’t wanted anyway.
      Anyhow, I know how you feel, believe me. Sometimes, I wish that she had never woke me up stroking me. That one night proved that I was right, she was just as horny as I was, she just could not bring herself to admit it

      Reply
    • June 27, 2013 at 8:31 pm

      Many men resort to that kind of behavior when they find their female partner is not responsive to sex. But in this case,the tables are turned. It looks like the man does’nt realize that there are people who are dying to have a woman who is ready ,willing able to to have satisfactory sex… he, sure needs a therapist..

      Reply
      • August 28, 2013 at 5:18 pm

        There’s just one word in your response which shows you didn’t understand what you read. There was never what I would call “satisfied” sex, because to have sex with her was just like buying yourself one of those rubber dolls, slapping on some vasoline , and “going at it”. But, in this case, if I just, “went at at, and satisfied myself, then rolled over and pretended to go to sleep, in a half hour, or less, she would be “going at it” with her fingers. You call that satisfaction. You need a good dictionary.

        Reply
    • September 20, 2018 at 2:35 pm

      I know how you feel! My wife does the same to me. She even moved to another bedroom about 10 years ago. Maybe we should switch mates!

      Reply
  • April 11, 2013 at 3:41 am

    I have been married to a female sex addict for 50 years. The biggest problem with her masturbating is that it gives her total control over how the act will go, how long, how harsh, etc. I found out about her habit early on in our marriage. We dated for three years, and had intercourse almost on every date. My problem, “I can have the body, which by the way was spectacular, but you can never have the mind. To her, sex equaled love. She felt like she was an unwanted baby that only just happened when her mother hit her change of life. She thought herself as unwanted, and unworthy. She thought that sex = love, and therefore, she had sex with other partners beside me. I don’t think she has cheated on me, except by herself. She used a child’s toy rubber bat as her dildo, and that lasted for over 30 years until I found out about it, and she supposedly threw it away. Our sexlife has always been the same. I can pretty much do anything that I want to with her body, but don’t make the mistake about asking her if she enjoyed it, or if she was satisfied from it. With her, there was no way to get any information about her feelings, because that might lead to her saying something else about what was really going on.
    She died last week at the age of 71, and was masturbating right up until the end. I was never “invited” into one of her love sessions, because that was the way she gave herself the love that other people denied her.

    Reply
    • July 28, 2015 at 9:45 am

      Very interesting article to read, because there are other psychological and medical studies that describe masturbation multiple times a day as “normal”. The key in this article is that the masturbation artist is endangering his life and not forming meaningful relationships, even if it meant emailing or texts sent to someone over a phone or some activity contributing to social or community causes. But, this seems like a symptom of society and culture not only an individual who can’t connect because this individual has a job which isolated him–traveling and not taking additional effort to find connections, if schedule allowed. The easy way out–no disease, no physical risks, no financial risk. It’s all in the head–an early childhood of being bullied, rejected or having self-confidence stripped away, and an individual would avoid any scenario of making themselves vulnerable and subject to ridicule or rejection and would seek out avenues where they seemingly have control of what happens to themselves.

      Reply
  • November 7, 2013 at 10:17 am

    Nice article. It really says it all.For me it is all about the damn anxiety ( and I hate that). I was always a shy and quiet kid and was abused by my sister many times when I was 7 to 8 yo.My parents got a divorce when I was 12 and my mother, having to run the house alone, became very authoritarian towards all unusual behavior or any girls/friends we had.After some time my sister left the house to another city and only my older brother and I stayed. My brother felt constant jealousy of me and started physically assaulting and beating me every single day(believe me, he still feels that way even nowadays and I am 41 yo now). I always turned to masturbation to relieve the feelings of anxiety and stress. But that didn´t stop me from having an ulcer when I was 16 yo and 3 stomach surgeries.I spent most my life in therapy and doctors say that all this mix was the most poisonous thing to happen with a person like me – a very sensitive one.I was arrested twice for indecent exposure in cars,for my house window/porch exhibitionism sessions and at the beach.I lost a job for indecent exposure at work and now I am unemployed.I have tried all kinds of meds and after all this time the compulsiveness for masturbation seems to still relieve the anxious ideas of persecution and agressive behaviors around me.Anything startles me and stresses me out to a point of wanting complete isolation.
    Well, anyways, I think I will be under antidepressants, tranquilizers and therapy for life I guess.I am still trying to have better social relations with people. I am going to marry my girl soon and I hope to get a better inner cure from that. She knows all these problems I am telling you herein and is eager to help me through.I wanted to write this here in this blog to make people see that we must be good parents and treat our children well beacause everything we feel and suffer it is a true reflex of our younger years.
    All the best to all of you who took time to read this account of my life and don’t lose hope and faith.I tried suicide twice and I am still here and now I believe that is definitely not the way to go.
    Thank you Dr. Weiss for the great article.
    God bless you all.

    LG
    (Brazil)

    Reply
  • January 10, 2014 at 5:17 am

    Due to parents who rarely if ever showed affection or touched me, I began masturbating and reaching climax around 4 yrs. – when my mother caught doing this at night after I’d been put to bed, she would say in disgust that only dogs did that. I never saw she and my father kiss. This excessive behavior caused my labia to be larger than normal (which is a turn on for many men). I was so young when I started that I only rubbed the outside of my vagina (clitoris) because I had no idea that there was anything else. I was so ashamed of my abnormality until reading an Ann Landers column once (in my 20’s) which perfectly described my affliction. I would like to know the name that is associated with this behavior. It was named in her column, but I can’t remember. Would like to research case histories and find out if any woman has actually been cured of this compulsive malady.

    Reply
  • July 25, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    This article describes my experience of porn and masturbation compulsion. I’ve been hooked for thirty years, binging and burning. I’ve a history of depression and anxiety, suicidal thinking and loneliness. I always thought I masturbated to escape my problems but I’m now convinced that my psychological and emotional problems are being caused by my obsession. This has given me a massive shock and I’ve decided to get my life back from this chronic compulsion. I’ve stopped and started a million times, had years of therapy without really talking about my compulsion. Shame was too painful. I believe my problems is becoming more common with the internet brimming with porn, and I hope that something can be done to help others like me.

    Reply
  • August 4, 2014 at 10:53 pm

    Delete all your porn and focus more on your carreer and hobbies. Only way out.

    Reply
  • August 20, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    You act like the only kind of masturbation is compulsive over masturbation. It is true that pornography and over masturbation can be a problem. The medical profession doesn’t not consider masturbation per sa harmful. I think you should be honest and take a stand one way or the other. Are you against all masturbation? Yes or no. Should it be against the law? Is it a sin? Does all masturbation lead to insanity and death?

    Reply
  • November 28, 2014 at 11:39 pm

    I just discovered my boyfriend of 6 years may have this problem. I went thru his phone last night and discovered all these websites he’s joined where he only talks to our messages a lot of different women. He finally confessed while in tears that he only uses these sites to “get off” as soon as I leave for work. Now understand this is a man who won’t even cry at funerals so the fact that he was crying while giving me his explanation says something but after giving him another chance after he cheated on me almost 3 years ago and all the other lies I’ve had to deal with from him I’m ready to end this relationship. I can’t deal with the lies and secrets anymore. He did have a troubling childhood and that’s probably where it stems from but I don’t want this becoming my problem. I know I sound cruel and terrible but this relationship has taken its toll on me and even I’ve got to admit this issue is embarrassing. If it is help that he needs, I hope he gets it but I really think he may stay the way he is. Who or what kind of help is available for something like this.

    Reply
  • February 6, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    Thank you so much for this article. I don’t think I am at a compulsive stage yet. I’ve always had a a few issues surrounding sex due to childhood traumas but nothing major. I’ve been to psychosexual therapy and I love it. Part of the reason was I struggle with connecting, or at least I used to, love and sex. I’ve had an amazing loving partner for the last 5 years, our sex life is happy (I think he could do with a bit more but hey….we’ll get there).
    The reason why I came to this article is because, I’ve been going through a big change lately. A good one, but I feel very different. Due to my career as a artist freelancer I have a lot time on my own. I became aware that all of sudden, the things that you used to aid me in switching off and having downtime (tv, videogames, spliffs…)were no longer working. Basically, when on my own now, I get easily bored.
    I remember always having this thing with videogames: when I couldn’t get passed an obstacle, I would go and masturbate. I always looked at it with a pinch of salt. But recently, when I’m home, masturbation has become much more incumbent. Exactly like the article says….a sense
    of isolation, shame, nervousness… I obviously haven’t shared this with my boyfriend, and I share everything with him!
    I use drugs recreationally. I’ve had parents addicted to alcohol and gambling so I’m aware that addiction runs in the family. So when I tried crystal meth a few months ago with some friends I made sure that it’s a rare occasion, because guess what, I liked it.i had a little tiny bit leftover (I hate leftover drugs because I know I’ll take them) and had it yesterday… I’ve never spent so much time with my penis in my hand.endless porn. Repetitive. So eventually I just googled it and I feel better. I thought exactly what the article said. I know its related to my mental state, and as I’m aware of the mental process I’m going through, I dont want to aaggravate it with this compulsion. Thanks a lot for the article.

    Reply
  • March 25, 2015 at 2:49 pm

    I am very conflicted about this whole problem to be honest. In marriage, my compulsive masturbation (both before and after I quit porn) was a major problem, as were my issues with intimacy. But, now as a single person (who is determined to remain single) I am starting to think my therapist is up to something. It’s as if he’s convinced that if I abstain from all masturbation that I will one day again have a “healthy” libido, which means I will desire to be with a woman again in some capacity. And, of course, the “ideal” in that case is this idyllic “co-committed pair-bond loving relationship(tm)”. The thing is, under the ‘problems with masturbation’ heading, one of them is “reduced desire for intimate/sexual relationships”.

    This is where the problem comes in. I don’t know if my masturbation is what has quelled my libido, or if my libido was quelled by something else and I just use masturbation to keep my libido near non-existent. Sorry, gang, but no matter how much society pitches this whole “intimate relationship” panacea, because of who I am and what I am like, my life is SO SO much better with no relationship!

    So, if I don’t want a relationship, and masturbation helps me stay single, why in the h3ll would I want a throbbing never-satisfied libido back?

    I just don’t feel as “sick and addicted” as I am being made out to be.

    If one day I lose my mind and think a relationship is a good idea again, I know I would need to reserve my sexual energy for a partner, who is theoretically going to be interested in intimacy too. Until then, why be single and abstinent only to have a raging sex drive that can’t be dealt with in healthy ways? (Assuming that people agree that rushing into some committed relationship only to satisfy sexual urges is a less than great situation.)

    Reply
  • June 24, 2015 at 10:01 pm

    I struggle with compulsive masturbation. I do it at least 3 times a day. I mostly masturbate at night before bed but sometimes i do it at work, while I’m shopping, at friend’s houses…it hasn’t really affected my relationship. I’m still very attracted to my boyfriend. I just shared with him that i do this. He’s ok with it. I’m not completely sure i want or need to stop…it’s just nice to know that I’m not the only one with this issue!

    Reply
  • August 7, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    To add my 2 cents, I began masturbating spontaneously at 12 without realizing what I was doing. I thought I might have done something harmful to myself, but when I felt no pain for two days I realized I had self-stimulated sexually. Incidentally, before I did this I tied my leg to the bed, in an apparently act of self-bondage without having a clue as to why I wanted to do that, or ever having been exposed to sexuality in any form. I’m 62, still beating off, and have no intention of stopping. I thoroughly enjoy masturbating, and the quality of porn these days has been a gift from heaven. Incidentally, as porn has proliferated first on video, then the internet, incidents of sexual assault have declined 75%.

    Here’s my take. Based on what I know of my family, and certain inherited traits, I believe this is a physiological condition, not a psychological one. I call it as do others, hypersexualtiy, something like homosexuality, also a physiological condition not a psychological one. I’ve had a number of good relationships, and not-so-good onces and although I have experimented sexually I am not compelled to seek out partners. The hypersexuality was probably a factor to my not having wed. She would have had to have been very acceptin. I did once meet a female self-admitted sex addict, who I didn’t pursue a relationship with after a brief affair. She went on to marry.

    On the whole, for the last many decades I focused on a long, varied and fascinating career life. Which incidentally sometimes brings me into contact with too many people, leading to periods of isolation, that brings relief from the pressures of social overexposure. Thanks for reading.

    Reply
  • November 1, 2015 at 9:47 pm

    “Intense psychiatric treatment.” Is going to be off putting to most addicts. It sounds like something far worse than what you think its going to be. Is treating this like a mental-psychiatric disorder and treating it the same way you would someone with paranoid schizophrenia really the best option? Plus, if you weren’t able to seek treatment in a discreet manner everyone who knows you would think you are a “head case.”

    Reply
  • November 14, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    I’ve been masturbating since I was five. i’m now 71. I love it. all I do now is binge masturbating. can’t describe the feelings when i’m lost in my bate session that can last 4 to 6 hrs. I really look forward to it. and so many kinds of porn to watch and jack to. I honestly don’t see this as a problem. it’s wonderful, in every sense of the word.

    Reply
  • January 13, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    While healthy masturbation exists, there exists a fine line that some cross which ventures into self-harm. In the sex addict, masturbation takes on a whole new meaning and is used to escape undesirable feelings. Just like any other drug, the hug surpasses the psychological, physical, and spiritual damage. I highlight the 3 reasons masturbation may become a problem for you on my blog: onsexaddiction.net

    Reply
  • February 26, 2016 at 4:33 am

    I’m a compulsive masturbator, average 5 times a day for more than 15 years now. always while watching porn.

    Reply
  • April 9, 2016 at 12:54 am

    I am 18 and a female. So the big emotions I feel when I masturbate is shame, guilt and embarrassment. I used to masturbate every few days but recently it has become an issue. I masturbate 7-9 times a day and at night i go for 4 hours while watching porn. I have been touching myself even in public secretly. last week I was caught touching myself in class by my teacher and she said she is concerned and i have a problem. She told my parents and they agree because recently they have walked in on me. My therapist and parents came up with a plan and I completely agree to it so nothing is wrong its just embarrassing. So I’m not allowed to masturbate in my room because it makes me more isolated. So I am only allowed to do it anywhere in the house. If I have an urge I have to act on it wherever I am and think about why I have the urge. My parents are not allowed to comment if they walk in on me they just have to do what they are doing normally and pretend I’m not masturbating. It is to teach me that everyone does and not to be embarrassed and to not keep it a secret. Today they already caught me 2 times. I hate this plan but it is suppose to help me in the long run. Its just very hard because I have a lot of urges and I have to act on if wherever I am. Last night during dinner I had one and I tried to stop but I started masturbating. My parents didn’t comment but when I orgasmed I started crying because I felt so embarrassed and gross. Later that night it was really late and I had an urge. Even though I was in my room I decided to use my vibrator. I was getting into it so I took my pants and underwear off and played on my bed. I was quiet but my dad woke up and walked in on me. The plan for this(because im not allowed to in my room secretly) he had to sit at my desk while I masturbated. I completely agreed to my plan because I want to get better and this involved it. So he is on his phone and every time I gasp he looks at me. Im fully wet and I feel an orgasm coming and I do but I also squirted. He saw the entire thing and after just told me to clean my sheets. I was beyond embarrassed and was angry at myself because I felt disgusted that I would squirt. I know logically that this plan needs to be followed so I am sticking to it.

    Reply
  • October 6, 2016 at 7:40 am

    I’m a 26 year old male. I masturbate daily watching porn and usually prolong the play for an hour or two, sometimes 3 while alone at home, on average I achieve one or two orgasms per day.

    This is an increase from my usual one hour/ 3 times per week rhythm, and it has all started a couple of years ago when I had a dramatic career and a social shift in my life, I didn’t really think that I had a problem, but the fact that no matter how hard I tried, I still couldn’t break the rhythm, made me worry that something has gone wrong.

    My habit is just watching average porn with nothing illegal, however I started being an exhibitionist, I enjoy flashing my body and I do it legally in some of the many available naturist facilities.

    I want to stop doing this, but nevertheless I just can’t, sadly I have also started smoking while masturbating and I burn on average 5 cigarettes during the masturbation hour, the feeling of hot smoke burning through my lungs turns me on and help achieve stronger orgasms but later during the day I struggle to breathe and I cough a lot. I also drink a beer or two to get in the mode.

    I’m still not convinced that I have a real problem and I think that I do this just because I am stressed, I also don’t have access to a health insurance at the moment and can’t afford a therapist so it is basically a vicious circle of self destruction.

    Reply
    • January 18, 2017 at 3:57 pm

      Have you stop it if how tell me

      Reply
    • March 19, 2017 at 4:37 pm

      My friend, we are notjudgemental here in the 12 step World of recovery.Sorry to say you are
      most definitely a sex addict, tho your behavior has not yet hurt anyone? The brain produces incredible feel good chemicals when orgasm occurs. The addict seeks that brain explosion. So go online and pick a few meetings. Call the person-in-charge and they will help you select some different types of meetings.eventually you will find a sponsor.

      It works

      Reply
  • February 2, 2017 at 1:42 am

    don’t agree with statement that men are more visual and women more turned on by romance. that’s bullshit. and an incorrect stereotype. I don’t care if it’s coming from a professional, it’s still a misleading statement. the only reason women aren’t turned on by porn and visual imagery as much as men is because porn is misogynistic and is geared towards males. duh. porn is not just about sex, it’s about sexual domination and humiliation of the female performers, and men get off to that because men are sexist. so it’s no wonder not many women like heterosexual porn. why do you think gay and lesbian porn are the top favourite categories for women?

    Reply
    • February 2, 2017 at 1:44 am

      oh I see a man wrote this article. probably slipped that little “men are visual” myth in there to justify sexual objectification of women and make porn watching men feel less guilty.

      Reply
  • July 19, 2017 at 8:59 pm

    So I appreciate the article. I’m a sex addict and thankful to be in recovery. I appreciate all the work Rob Weiss has done and chuckle at the comment that since he posits that men are more attracted to body parts that he’s a chauvinist. Doubt it.

    Anyway, I came across this article because I’m interested in a discussion of compulsive versus non-compulsive masturbation. Currently masturbation is in my inner circle but I’m not sure ALL masturbation needs to be there. If I’m sneaking off to a bathroom stall at work – yes, inner circle. If I’m in the shower or going to bed at night (currently separated), I’m not so sure. If I go on and on for hours hurting myself, missing commitments, zoned out from the world – inner circle. If I think of my wife, think of making love with her and have a manual stimulation orgasm (one) in a reasonable amount of time (say 5-10 minutes) and go to sleep, I’m just unclear how THAT’s being “sex drunk” or any other phrase that might accompany bottom line behavior.

    I’m clear on sex outside of my marriage, porn, strip clubs, dominatrixes, chat rooms, all being bottom line. There’s no place in my healthy sexuality for those. Just really struggling with whether I’m unnecessarily keeping “normal” masturbation in that inner circle. Whenever I try to have the discussion in my 12 step group or in therapy it goes to “do you really think that’s a decision a sex addict can make?”.

    Argh. Comments – that is, experience, strength and hope – are welcome.

    Reply
  • January 1, 2018 at 5:02 am

    Omg this is so crazy. I thought I was the only one. It started for me as preteen I got scared at something and my heart was racing. I tried everything to calm down and I just got the urge to put hands in pants and when I massage it felt good and after while it got better and I shaked and was done and felt high. So now fast forward few years it’s even worse. I’m very shy and don’t talk to people much so when someone speaks to me I get so afraid , I get urges everywhere and also have to act on them then there or get bad anxiety . My mom once caught me and asked me how I leaned that and I told her it was just something I had done for a while and tried to explain. Lucky me for her to so understanding, she try to cope with me. She catch me many times after and just lets me finish continue what she’s doing. After she ask me if I’m ok and ask how many urges that day. Once we seek help, the therapist suggests to keep a journal. We write my feelings before and after episode and the time of day etc. we must document as much as we can. My dad once found me and he did as routine, he went to get the journal came back sat down and let me finish. He ask me about my feelings and writes them in book. I’m trying to get better but some days are difficult. It’s hard to keep a job with these condition. 🙁

    Reply
  • April 29, 2018 at 7:06 pm

    This can be quit, not easily but still can be

    Reply
  • October 7, 2018 at 7:16 pm

    The man I had a great sexual relationship with decided that he was suddenly turned off by sex. Like a light switch. We are both very sexaul and we were headed to passion paradise. He told me about his past – the masterbation as a teen and then as a unsatisfied married spouse. It all seemed normal to me. He had many women he would text, porn sites, and social media/dating sites he would visit. He has been very honest in his own fight with intimacy since his marriage. He knows he has a lot of healing and I’m trying to be supportive. I’m giving him friendship. Trust. We talk about it sometimes and he is vocal about the free porn available and how it has enhanced his compulsive addiction. I have let him know that if he feels like he needs to reach out to touch, I am a safe choice. I want to help him. I know he would never seek treatment, not because he doens’t see it as a problem but, he isn’t a doctor seeing kind of man. He is stable and very interested in well being. I am the friend he trusts. Any advice will be followed. Also, I’d like to thank everyone who has commented here. It has really helped me to see how this affects you. I hope you get the answers you need going forward.

    Reply
 

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