5 thoughts on “When a Man Overdoses, Why Do We Blame the Spouse?

  • September 26, 2018 at 6:52 am

    When Amy Winehouse died, her dad was blamed. Blaming those nearest the deceased is a predictable, if misplaced, reaction, but the cancer of social media makes it worse.

  • September 26, 2018 at 11:56 am

    I believe that people immediately blame those closest to them bc just like in a homicide, the first suspects are always the wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend. It’s as if they have “inside information” that would explain why that person may have killed themselves: also, the grieving need someone to vent to and who better than the person who knew them best??

    My takeaway from this article is you basically accuse those who are closest to the person who committed suicide is actually guilty and responsible! “If only Ariana Grande had known about pro dependence” you say! We can’t know what we can’t know. You made up this term but shy of buying your book have not explained how might had she had known this (technique?) Mac Miller might be alive today. Or Evan in your example might’ve “saved” his child. I think that’s cruel and unfair and needs explanation.

    • October 17, 2018 at 12:45 am

      Lauren, I absolutely agree with your comment. Let’s not blame the one closest to the addict, yet if Ariana Grande or Evan had only known about ‘prodependence.’ the outcome could have been different/they could have been saved…… Isn’t that still blaming the loved one?! This is a no-win situation for the ‘one closest to the addict’.

      • October 18, 2018 at 12:04 am

        Thank you Teresa for your comment! I appreciate it and glad to know I’m not the only one who caught the hypocrisy in this article.

  • February 13, 2019 at 8:42 pm

    I think every bit of this is taking all kinds of effort to rationalize a situation that is very easy to understand. No one – only the addict – is responsible for their behaviors. It doesn’t matter the cause. Even if you want to rationalize a “reason”, this does not excuse an adult person’s decision to do substances. Just because you can find a reason in someone’s past as to why they would do such things, does not mean the blame/fault for turning to drugs does not squarely fall on the shoulders of the addict. Until they are made to be personally responsible and stop blaming ANYTHING else for their actions, there is no hope for them. By absolving the addict of 100% blame, society at large is enabling.


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