Archives for Sex & Sexuality

Addictions

Infidelity: Why Do Men Cheat?

In my recently published book, Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, I define infidelity as “the breaking of trust that occurs when you keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner,” noting that this definition encompasses behaviors other than actual sexual intercourse, that purely online behaviors can still be cheating, and that behaviors that might qualify as cheating in one couple might be perfectly OK for another...
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Relationships

Dealing with Sexual Betrayal: 6 Things Therapists Need to Know

In the wake of the recent Ashley Madison hack and data dump, sexual infidelity is in the news more than ever. Because of this, a growing number of spouses are actively checking up on what their partners are doing with their free time. Smartphone apps, texts, emails, and the like are being surreptitiously (and sometimes overtly) checked, and countless scores of cheaters are...
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Sex & Sexuality

Homosexual Identity and Early-Life Trauma/Development



Can you remember the days when The American Psychiatric Association labeled homosexuality as a mental illness? I can, as can just about anyone over the age of 50, as the APA only abandoned this indefensible stance in the early 1970s. And even after the APA grudgingly chose to recognize homosexual attractions and behaviors as a natural variant of human sexual expression, many jurisdictions continued to criminalize same-sex sexual activity. While those...
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Addictions

Recovery from Cybersex Addiction: Part One – Initial Action Steps

For the last five years (at least), Jerry, a handsome 36-year-old office manager, has put the search for sex ahead of all else – even though he’s not having any in-person sexual encounters. Instead, he looks at and masturbates to hardcore pornography for several hours each weeknight and all day on the weekends, and occasionally he engages in mutual masturbation with strangers via webcam. Until a...
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Sex & Sexuality

The Viagra Conundrum

I’m of a certain age – if you don’t know what “certain age” means, then you’re not there yet – and I tend to watch television programs geared toward my demographic. With these shows I am inevitably treated to a barrage of commercials featuring impossibly attractive middle-aged and older couples looking unusually romantic in some wonderfully bucolic setting. Most often they’re either cuddling by a lake at sunset or sipping Chardonnay on the...
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Sex & Sexuality

Out of Control Sexual Behavior: Addiction or Offending?

When It Comes to Sex, Confusion Reigns

After more than two decades spent treating both sexual addicts and the occasional offender, I’ve watched the field of sexual disorders assessment and treatment come very far in its understanding of both sexual addiction and sexual offending. Nevertheless, the general public is often wildly misinformed on both topics, as are at least a few clinicians. One of the most common misperceptions is...
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Sex & Sexuality

The Truth about Gay Conversion Therapy

Therapists are Trained, Governors are Not

A few weeks ago Texas Governor Rick Perry, speaking in San Francisco, defended his state’s Republican Party Platform endorsing gay conversion therapy (also called reparative therapy), essentially stating that homosexuality is a choice. So once again this topic is in the news and in need of intelligent discussion. Somewhat amazingly, the basic questions being asked about homosexuality and conversion therapy haven’t changed much...
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