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Archives for Intimacy & Fidelity

Addictions

Infidelity: Why Do Men Cheat?

In my recently published book, Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, I define infidelity as “the breaking of trust that occurs when you keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner,” noting that this definition encompasses behaviors other than actual sexual intercourse, that purely online behaviors can still be cheating, and that behaviors that might qualify as cheating in one couple might be perfectly OK for another...
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Intimacy & Fidelity

Men, Pornography, and the Desire to Quit

A few months ago I wrote about a recent French study looking at porn use among adult males and its consequences. In that study the research team concluded, among other findings, that men who look at porn to self-soothe and regulate their emotions were significantly more likely to experience porn related consequences and to view their usage as problematic. (Click here to read my earlier article.)

Now we have...
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Intimacy & Fidelity

What People Really Want to Know About Sex (My Reddit.com “Ask Me Anything” Experience) 


A few weeks ago I agreed to host a Reddit AMA without actually knowing what I’d agreed to do. So I did a quick bit of research and found out that Reddit is a huge website that hosts “discussion threads” on almost any topic you can imagine. And many of the site’s most popular discussions originate with AMA (Ask Me Anything) sessions, where celebrities or subject matter experts answer...
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Addictions

Is Addiction an Intimacy Disorder?

In his popular 2015 TED talk, “Everything You Think You Know about Addiction is Wrong,” journalist Johann Hari discusses research into the underlying causes of and effective treatments for addiction, ultimately concluding, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it’s connection.” While Hari is not a scientist and he tends to overgeneralize in his presentation, making it relatively easy to nitpick, his belief that addiction is linked to early-life and adult struggles with emotional intimacy is, in my opinion, right on target. In...
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Addictions

Does Your Client Have a Problem With Love Addiction?

It’s March. Valentine’s Day is a distant memory and wedding season looms. Essentially, this is the time when psychotherapy clients often want to review and discuss their romantic relationships. For clients who struggle with problematic behavioral choices related to love, attachment and intimacy, in particular love addiction (also known as romance addiction and relationship addiction), this can be a very difficult undertaking. These individuals see friends and loved...
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Intimacy & Fidelity

The Dynamic Duo of Sex and Money: An Interview with Debra L. Kaplan

Debra Kaplan, a psychotherapist working in Tucson, AZ who specializes in trauma, intimacy, and sex addiction treatment has published a new book entitled For Love and Money: Exploring Sexual & Financial Betrayal in Relationships. I recently spoke with Debra about the book, and I wanted to share her thoughts here.

RW: The concept of financial betrayal is not often discussed. Could you explain...
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Intimacy & Fidelity

Men in Power and Sexual Misbehavior: The Ongoing Saga

Amidst revelations of an affair between CIA Director General David Petraeus and his biographer, Paula Broadwell, not to mention the alleged inappropriate communications between Petraeus' successor in Afghanistan, General John Allen, and Petraeus family friend Jill Kelley, one can't help but wonder: What were these men thinking? Of course, we asked the same question with Tiger Woods, Anthony Wiener, Eliot Spitzer, and a whole bunch of other sexually misbehaving public figures.
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