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Archives for August, 2012


Sexual Sobriety: The Boundary Plan

As mentioned in last week’s blog, sexual sobriety does NOT entail long-term sexual abstinence. Often, a 30 to 90 day “cooling off” period of complete abstinence from all sexual behavior, including masturbation, is recommended when an addict enters treatment—mainly to help the addict gain perspective on his or her problematic behaviors—but in no way, shape, or form is ongoing abstinence the goal.

In fact, the heavy lifting of sex addiction...
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Sex Addicts and “Sexual Sobriety”

What is Sexual Sobriety?

Having spent two decades working with relationship and sexual addicts—male and female, straight and gay, younger and older—I have come to accept that people entering sex addiction recovery typically have little to no idea of what achieving “sexual sobriety” really means or entails. This confusion is in sharp contrast to nearly any alcoholic or drug addict entering treatment, who more or less already knows that he or she will have...
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Sex & Technology

Who Needs a Live Person for Sex?

What is Virtual Sex?

The idea of “virtual sex” has long been a science fiction staple. One very funny cinematic example (well-known to most baby boomers) is the 1973 film, "Sleeper", starring Woody Allen and Diane Keaton, a comedy about life in the distant future. One of the movie’s great fantasy inventions is the Orgasmatron, a telephone booth-like contraption that helps users become sexually aroused by stimulating their brains in an intensely...
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Teenagers, Porn and Sexual Addiction: What’s the Problem?

A Whole New World

When I was a teenager, finding and looking at porn took work. In order to find some naked pictures, either I or one of my friends would have to locate and surreptitiously raid one of our dads’ stashes of Playboy magazines, rely on someone who’d inherited a magazine from his older brother, or raid a magazine from the local gas station.

Once in a while, if we were very lucky,...
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