Infidelity and “Gaslighting:” When Cheaters Flip the Script
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where one partner persistently denies the reality of the other partner (via consistent lying, bullying, and obfuscating the facts), causing that person, over time, to doubt her (or his) perception of truth, facts, and reality. Some people...
Infidelity: Why Do Men Cheat?
In my recently published book, Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, I define infidelity as “the breaking of trust that occurs when you keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner,” noting that this definition encompasses behaviors other than actual sexual intercourse, that purely online behaviors can still be cheating, and that behaviors that might qualify as cheating in one couple might be perfectly OK for another...
Sex and Porn Addictions: Misconceptions and Bias
I’ve spent the past 25 years providing clinical treatment to sex addicts and their families, while also training therapists and documenting the clinical evolution of this increasingly common issue. Throughout this time I have been constantly surprised by a small but vocal group of...
What is Sex, Porn, and Sexting Rehab All About?
OK, sex addiction and sex addiction treatment are in the news again. This sort of thing typically happens at least a few times a year. The regular news cycle is burbling along, and then some famous person lands in the middle of a big...
Addictions are Learned Behaviors
Anyone who’s ever been to a 12-step meeting has heard at least one or two recovering addicts say something like, “I got high because I had a crappy day at work and things got worse when I got home and I just got tired...
Men, Pornography, and the Desire to Quit
A few months ago I wrote about a recent French study looking at porn use among adult males and its consequences. In that study the research team concluded, among other findings, that men who look at porn to self-soothe and regulate their emotions were significantly more likely to experience porn related consequences and to view their usage as problematic. (Click here to read my earlier article.)
Now we have...
Now we have...
What People Really Want to Know About Sex (My Reddit.com “Ask Me Anything” Experience)
A few weeks ago I agreed to host a Reddit AMA without actually knowing what I’d agreed to do. So I did a quick bit of research and found out that Reddit is a huge website that hosts “discussion threads” on almost any topic you can imagine. And many of the site’s most popular discussions originate with AMA (Ask Me Anything) sessions, where celebrities or subject matter experts answer...
Pornography: Shame-Based Clients vs. Addicted Clients
Just Because a Client Says He’s Porn Addicted…
As digital technologies become more ubiquitous and porn usage becomes more prevalent and socially acceptable, clinicians, especially certified sex addiction therapists (CSATs), have seen a corresponding increase in the number (and variety) of people seeking help with shameful and/or compulsive porn use and related life problems. Importantly, there are multiple and often very different populations seeking such assistance. For instance, some clients seek treatment because they are addicted, while others seek treatment...
Can Therapists “Officially” Diagnose Sexual Addiction?
A Hopeful Outlook
In the April 2016 edition of Addiction, Dr. Richard B. Krueger of Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute provided a short commentary on the ways in which psychotherapeutic clinicians, if and when it’s appropriate, can make a DSM-5 and/or an ICD-10-CM diagnosis of sexual addiction. This is important primarily as it relates to insurance companies, who don’t especially like to pay for the treatment of any issue...
In the April 2016 edition of Addiction, Dr. Richard B. Krueger of Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute provided a short commentary on the ways in which psychotherapeutic clinicians, if and when it’s appropriate, can make a DSM-5 and/or an ICD-10-CM diagnosis of sexual addiction. This is important primarily as it relates to insurance companies, who don’t especially like to pay for the treatment of any issue...
New Study Links Compulsive Porn Abuse and Sexual Dysfunction
A recent study by Aline Wéry and Joel Billieux, both from the Université Catholique de Louvain, published in the journal, Computers in Human Behavior, sheds light on the characteristics, usage patterns, motives, and consequences of addictive online sexual activity.
Wéry and Billieux conducted a large-scale online study of French speaking men recruited on a university messaging service, social networks, research networks, and sexuality related forums. Anonymity of participants was guaranteed in an effort to achieve more...
