In the last post, I shared some pros of sharing your sexual fantasies with your partner along with some tips on how to do so. There are several benefits of being open about your erotic fantasies but a certain degree of risk accompanies the sharing and at times, being open and forthcoming could backfire.
It’s perfectly normal and healthy for individuals and couples to have sexual fantasies. A rich erotic imagination goes hand in hand with a fulfilling sexual connection. I encourage the couples that I am seeing for sex therapy to share their psychological turn-ons with each other as a communication exercise. However, some people are not comfortable with sharing their sexual fantasies or feel uneasy with the idea of discovering what their partner fantasizes about during sex or masturbation.
In the last two posts, I discussed the origin of performance anxiety as well as the errors in one’s thinking that fuel the cycle of anxiety when it comes to sex. In this post, I will share a few practical tips for men struggling with performance anxiety.
Performance anxiety is rooted in fear and it is the fear of sexual failure in the future based on sexual failure in the past. The fear itself is not rational and is not adaptive in any way. Performance anxiety is also rooted in a variety of irrational beliefs, faulty sexual scripts and thinking errors that fuel the cycle of anxiety and impedes natural sexual function.
It's date night!! You and your partner finish dinner at an amazing restaurant and head to a bar for some cocktails and maybe a dance or two. The night is beautiful but not as much as your partner and you can’t help but be close to her. After a couple of drinks and a few moves on the dance floor, you both decide to call it a night and head home.
When your partner is not interested in sex or is struggling with sexual confidence issues, it can have a significant impact on your sexual desire as well. In fact, it is incredibly common for a partner of an individual struggling with a sexual issue to experience a significant decline in their sexual desire or libido as well.
Occasional anxiety is a normal part of life and even expected or beneficial at certain times. It’s normal, for example, to feel anxious before a big test or a job interview, and some level of anxiety is needed to ensure that you are well-prepared.
Whether you have been with your partner for a year or many years, the realization that you are no longer attracted to him or her can be very unsettling. You might feel guilty or think that there is something wrong with you. For some people, the realization sort of creeps up and for others, it’s a more conscious process of coming to the conclusion that the attraction you once felt for your partner is no longer there.
You are tired of initiating sex over and over again, only to be turned down by your partner. You feel confused and angry at the same time. At this point, you have tried everything and nothing has worked. You feel rejected by your partner and the wall of resentment gets wider and neither one of you has the energy to break it down. You lash out and convince yourself that your partner does not find...
Masturbation is at times a touchy topic among couples. In fact, some couples either assume that their partner does not masturbate or even expect that their partner should not masturbate since they are in a relationship. In reality, many people who are married or in committed long-term relationships do masturbate. Some people even report masturbating more when they are in a relationship than when they are single.