4 thoughts on ““Merry Christmas, I’m a Sex Addict”! When to Tell Your Parents and Family

  • December 21, 2015 at 10:01 am

    I find the idea that spouses should be “forgiven” for focusing on their own needs insulting. Gee, if the spouse does anything but focus on herself, the CSAT community will label her as a codependent and she can then deal with additional trauma induced by the therapy. If these perpetrators finally face some consequences for their behavior, so be it.

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  • January 6, 2016 at 6:03 pm

    I agree, why does the addict get to make all the decisions about this?
    For years this has been going on and his family hates me, because all they see are my reactions to him. They don’t know the truth. Out of 6, he is their favorite and can do no wrong. I understand knowing the truth may not change the way they see me, but no longer keeping his secret will give me the voice I feel I lost.

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    • January 14, 2018 at 9:36 am

      Nomoresecrets, I totally agree with your take. What the h*** about us? Why do we have to stand by and let the addict tell anyone that will listen that we are crazy?

      I have reached the divorce phase, because he continues to lie, but I am frozen in place by fear.

      I am forbidden by my husband and his brother to tell his parents anything (elderly, etc), but he is telling brother AND parents I am crazy and making everything up.

      I have emails where he made appointments with prostitutes from USASexguide! His Google search history is filled with escorts and porn, etcetera. His location history shows him stopping at apartments and homes he says he never visited, but MY location history shows only where I have been!

      How unfair that he is going into this divorce with NO ONE to say, “Dear God! Haven’t you hurt them enough?” He doesn’t want to share his retirement, he doesn’t want me to have the house, and he makes 4x what I make. He always said I only needed a ‘grocery money’ job, that he would take care of me in retirement. I am left with nothing.

      His solution? Don’t divorce him, because he is ‘innocent’ of any wrong doing since discovery day. A huge lie, of course, but even when shown proof, he still responds with “I didn’t search for that, stop at that apartment, etc”.

      He is finally going to a 12-step group, but has even told this group of sex addicts he is ‘only’ a porn addict! If not so d*** frustrating, it would be funny.

      Don’t we deserve a chance to defend ourselves, after all the hurt and agony they have already caused us?

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      • January 15, 2018 at 2:37 pm

        Remember, he is the one with a secret life, not you. You need to look out for your own interests and not worry about protecting him. This article, like so many written by CSATs, looks to point out flaws in the injured parties rather than hold him accountable. Check out the Sisterhood if Support- you will find caring, supportive women who have been there too.

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