2 thoughts on “Making Friends with Your Inner Sex Addict

  • April 27, 2015 at 8:50 pm

    As someone with PTSD, I’m wondering, since many of us with PTSD have behaviors for controlling (which we respond to angrily when challenged), and behaviors for feeling good, what the difference would be between an addict and PTSD. More so because it is becoming more commonly accepted that the root of addictions maty be trauma.

    In Buddhism, too, there is the aspect that thje behaviors we don’t like, are really expressions of Buddha nature. However, when the thought/intention/action process begins, it’s like this great thought finds a way to the surface through some very corroded pipe so that when it happens as an action, the pure water thought is polluted water at the end.

  • July 24, 2016 at 2:48 am

    Ok. Food, ciggs, beer. I have or have had these addictions. Maybe sex, but it WAS the 1970s and our ethos was: Hurry up and lose your virginity, nuclear war could break out at any moment.

    Anyway, I cannot deny addictive behaviors. This article caused me to remember a feeling from when I was around age five. It’s a fleeting memory but present nonetheles.

    I remember climbing around on my parents’ counters hunting for their sugary foods hidden up high, out of reach. I remember I felt a sense of bravery as I climbed from chair to countertop. I felt rebellion and retribution toward my amazingly cruel mother as I took from her without permission. It was the beginning of secrecy. I was getting away with something, pulling one over on her, getting a little secret revenge. Oh how naturally the essential element of addiction, secrecy, sprang forth in reaction to feeling abject helplessness at the hands of my abuser. Gaining a little power, a little control was the opposite of helplessness and relieved some of my anguish. Secret revenge. I also felt it with the first ciggarette, joint and beer.

    As the wife of an SA (emotional abuser), I have been afraid to read this article because I hate the sex addict in my husband – what could you mean by befriend it? Glad I braved the read. For me, it revealed the link from family of origin abuse to addictive, secretive behavior. I got in touch with an ancient feeling of secret power-taking. How to befriend and integrate this barely-remembered feeling, I don’t know yet.
    Thanks for another great article.


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