10 thoughts on “How to Break Free of a Sociopathic Sex Addict

  • June 24, 2013 at 6:10 am

    According to research done in Ireland –
    13% of men abuse women in a relationship
    and 13% of women abuse men in a relationship.
    Over 50% of women report the abuse,
    Whereas less than 5% of the men abused by women report the abuse.
    So this article is flawed in that it only portrays men as the aggressor. There are plenty of female sociopaths out there using the same tactics.

    The AMEN website in Ireland deals with abused men the facts are found there in their Library.

    • June 24, 2013 at 11:23 am

      Dagda, I don’t mean to be biased against men as a group. I was attempting to discuss a type if relationship I have seen some women experience and explore why. I think the information you present is very valuable. Thanks, Linda

      • July 14, 2013 at 3:39 pm

        As a man, I agree with Dagda though I see you point which is you are a woman and it is easier for you to discuss this type of behaviors with a woman than a man. If you tried to, a man would shut down to you as to present himself to you as a man. That is not all a doctors fault. As a man I can tell you that it happens to men just as much as women, with some men believing more. Like when she is ready to have a child, she wants you to spread more money on her needs, etc. As a younger man I indeed was “narcissistic” in my behavior towards women. Yes I was told “Don’t matter, you can move on..”, but that didn’t right the wrongs I did. Later, I got involved with “narcissistic women” who were pulling the same thing I did as a boy and yep even married one. I thought a strong woman would keep me in line, only to be exposed to her cheating and lying that she didn’t admit until I divorced her on those very grounds. Dr. Hatch please believe the few men that are telling this. However, don’t judge us weak, flawed or insecure in our manhood like most attempt to do even within our own families. I think we are stronger than most men in admitting it.

  • June 29, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    Dear Dr. Hatch,

    WOW – what a powerful, clear, and much-needed article! The power of understanding how the brain works for women (or men) who are victims/vulnerable to sex addicts/narcissists is key to helping them break free of this vicious pattern. To exclude the brain’s operating value in a person getting hooked in this way, leaves room for chronic “relapse” to this sort of pattern. Great article, and thanks again!

    -Rivka Edery, L.M.S.W
    Author of: “Trauma and Transformation: A 12-Step Guide”
    Available from: http://www.amazon.com/TRAUMA-AND-TRANSFORMATION-12-Step-Guide/dp/1482785099/ref=pd_rhf_ee_p_t_1_3RMF

  • September 30, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    Dr. Hatch,

    What are your thoughts on Neurofeedback? Do you believe this form of treatment can be effective with sex addiction?

    • September 30, 2013 at 4:47 pm

      Wrc75- very interesting! I’m afraid I don’t know enough about neurofeedback to have an informed opinion. I have colleagues who use it for ADHD etc. so it sounds like it might be in the right ballpark. I’ll ask around.

      • October 1, 2013 at 11:18 pm

        Thanks Linda, I would be interested to know if there has been any research done. My ex-partner is going to to Neurofeedback weekly for PTSD, which seems to be working for some things, but sadly not everything.

  • February 16, 2014 at 12:31 am

    I want to thank you for writing some of the most insightful and helpful short articles I have read yet on my experience. I’ve read books that broach this topic and how narcissism/sociopathic traits are common, but you have summarized it so well, it hit home and made the stage of acceptance that much easier. It was traumatic to shift from the fog I felt like I was in w/my ex, but now that I see the addiction/personality traits from a observatory viewpoint, it helps me embrace the reality of what I had been in. I TRULY appreciate your time in making your insights and written word on this available. 🙂 Thank You

  • July 17, 2014 at 11:17 am

    It is important to learn what the issues are that we so often settle for less than, with regard to intimacy. In my case I believed that I was flawed and that if I could just be a better person he would come around, this was before I knew about his sex addiction. Therapist’s were happy to comply with this endeavor. He was expert at hiding his true self whenever he was invited into therapy and I was all too often told, “oh he loves you so much!” he is a master of illusion. I believe he picked me because I was naive, I see the good in others, I try to help others to be their best selves. I am not flawed, he is, my heart was too big, I was too trusting. These are characteristics which are to be valued but leave us vulnerable to the sociopath next door or in our bedrooms. Learning to spot the liar, although he got past the best of them, lie detectors, therapists, he fooled them all not just me; we need to learn to question more, trust less, look for evidence, listen to our intuition. Most importantly we need to learn to trust ourselves again and our own inner voice not their lies and deceit. You are doing good work and thanks for having this site, but it is clear that you have not been in these shoes.

  • September 8, 2017 at 5:48 pm

    What do you think of the sex addict that is so proud of that diagnosis and brags about it to his mistress in a text sent from the bathroom of the couples’ counseling office, where he just finished a session with his wife of 17 years (and mother of his two teenage girls). Is that a sociopathic sex addict?


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