Archives for Sex Addiction

Diagnosis

Sex Addiction Deniers: A Post-Truth Movement

The diehard sex addiction deniers

Over the last four years I have written no less than eight posts* in an effort to understand and counter the claims of a fairly small but zealous segment of professionals who are on a mission to protect an unsuspecting world from what they see as a dangerous conspiracy.  No, it's not vaccinations or GMOs.  The claim is that those of us who have a sub-specialty in sex addiction treatment are perpetrating...
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General

Sex Addiction Insights From Across the Pond: UK vs. US

Sex and porn addiction treatment are alive and well in the UK.  On a recent trip, I met and talked at length with two wonderful colleagues, one in London and one in Edinburgh.  Our two countries approach  sex addiction treatment in much the same way.  But there are differences, things we can learn from one another.

Obviously this is not intended as a comprehensive survey but rather as food for thought based on my own observations and...
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Diagnosis

Therapy-Interfering Behaviors: Crucial, Predictable, and Often Ignored

Therapists, particularly those treating sex addiction and in the addiction field generally, are familiar with therapy-interfering behaviors. Frequent lateness or failing to show up for appointments, fomenting conflict with the therapist, and many other forms of direct and indirect ways of undermining the process.  As with problem behaviors generally, these are maladaptive attempts to solve a problem.

I first encountered an analysis of therapy-interfering behaviors in the work of Dr. Marsha M. Linehan.  Dr....
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General

Is Trump a Sex Addict?


The temptation to diagnose Donald Trump from a distance is hard to resist.  So I've been sorting through the evidence for and against #Trumpisasexaddict.  And if he's not, then what's wrong with him?

I don't know where to start with Trump's sexual indicators and behaviors.  I mean, who buys a beauty pageant?  Actually he bought three of them.  It's like the bad old joke about the gay teenager's wealthy father offering to buy his son...
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General

Why Isn’t Married Sex “Hot”? And Should it be?

Does married sex really need to imitate porn and sex addiction? If sex in a long-term relationship was, on average, as erotically compelling as other kinds of sexual encounters, then about half of all books, plays and movies and other forms of entertainment would never exist. And that's not even counting the various forms of X-rated cultural products.

Certainly many comedians would be out of a job. You...
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Gay-Straight

An Explosive Issue: Are Sexual Behaviors Learned?

The question is not whether our sexually addictive behavior and fantasies are learned, but rather which ones are learned, when they are learned, and which ones are carved in stone?

This issue quickly can become radioactive. Talk of any changes in our patients' sexuality brings on accusations that clinicians want to alter people's sexual orientation or fit them into a particular model of sexual health. But the fact that something can be learned or...
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General

Signs a Sex Addiction is Spiraling out of Control

Addictions tend to grow increasingly serious over time. Sex addiction is no different from other addictions in that it tends to become increasingly severe and all consuming.

But sex addicts typically differ from other addicts in that they can appear more normal over a much longer period of time than say, an alcoholic or a drug addict. The damaging affects of substance abuse and other addictions such as food and gambling tend to be...
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General

Why You Should Stop Calling Sex Addicts “Perpetrators”

People who have been on the receiving end of a sex addict's betrayal, manipulation, lies, and other forms of uncaring and abusive behavior experience serious emotional trauma. Lives are torn apart, children are affected, families are alienated and as if that weren't enough there are often dire health and/or financial consequences.

But is any given sex addict really a perpetrator?  A psychopath?  Well, they could be.  And there is no doubt...
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General

“Merry Christmas, I’m a Sex Addict”! When to Tell Your Parents and Family


Although full disclosure to a partner or spouse is considered essential to recovery, telling your parents, your grown up children, your relatives or your in-laws that you are a sex addict can be a good idea or a very bad idea depending on a number of factors. Of the scores of sex addicts I have treated, each one has had a unique situation in confronting the fallout from this question. There...
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Diagnosis

The War on Sex Addiction

In the world of science denial, the attempt to deny the existence of sex and porn addiction occupies a special place. Although a large and growing body of science demonstrates the reality of porn and sex addiction, the barrage of assaults continues in the form of weaponized research and ideological demonization.

Even among many who accept the reality of behavioral addictions generally, such as food, shopping, exercise and gambling, the idea of sex...
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