Archives for June, 2013

General

Gaining Emotional Maturity is Key to Addiction Recovery

Sex addicts and most likely addicts in general have some growing up to do.  They tend to be more emotionally immature than non-addicts.  This is usually explained in terms of an attachment trauma or “relational” stress in childhood. This lack of appropriate support and direction from parents in childhood means that the person does not internalize appropriate emotional controls, that is they do not learn to control themselves from within.

As addicts recover...
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Gay-Straight

What Do Addictive Sexual Fantasies Mean?

Wouldn’t we all like a way to interpret our sexual fantasies?  Where do they come from? What do they mean?  Often sexual fantasies seem to take hold for no apparent reason. Their meaning seems like some kind of mysterious code that we could crack, as we do in dream interpretation.

If you ask someone to describe their most compelling sexual fantasies, especially a sex addict, you will find...
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Diagnosis

“Self-Esteem” and Other Misleading Concepts

Certain concepts get entrenched in popular as well as professional psychology.  They remain in common usage long after the field has come to a better or fuller understanding of the phenomenon.  It seems to me that in becoming clichés these ideas prevent us from understanding the psychological processes involved and from approaching them in a truly constructive way.  Here are some of the concepts that most obviously cause me trouble...
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Gender

The Banality of George Zimmerman

George Zimmerman's behavior should be understood in terms of his psychological vulnerabilities rather than being dismissed as racist.  He started life wanting to be a heroic figure like his father but never gained the emotional maturity or self-efficacy to make his fantasies come true. He is impulsive, insecure and seems to attempt to compensate for his low self-esteem in a variety of ways.

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