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Infidelity

Cheating by Any Other Name… Micro-Cheating is Still Cheating

I define infidelity (cheating) as “the breaking of trust that occurs when you keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner.” Please note that this definition of cheating does not talk specifically about affairs, porn, strip clubs, hookup apps, or any other specific sexual or romantic act. Instead, it focuses on what matters most to a betrayed partner – the loss of relationship trust.

For betrayed partners, it’s not any specific sexual or romantic act causes...


Addictions

Treating Female and Teen Sex Addicts: An Interview with Marnie C. Ferree LMFT, CSAT

Marnie Ferree, my friend, colleague, and recent co-author (Out of the Doghouse for Christian Men: A Redemptive Guide for Men Caught Cheating) has a long-standing national reputation as a leader in the treatment of sexual addiction/compulsivity, particularly as it presents in women. In fact, in 1997 she established the first gender-separate program for female sex and love addicts. This Christian-based program, now called Bethesda Workshops, still exists, and draws participants from across the United States and Canada. Nowadays,...


Addictions

One Layer Deeper: Dating in Recovery

A few weeks ago, I ran into a couple of colleagues, Jonathon Taylor and Jackie Pack, at a conference for therapists, and they told me about a series of weekend healthy dating workshops they were planning for recovering addicts and former partners of recovering addicts. I was immediately intrigued, knowing how difficult it is for most of my clients, especially those affected by sex and porn addiction/compulsivity, to enter or re-enter the dating pool.

Taylor and Pack...


Addictions

It’s Official: Compulsive Sexual Behavior (Sex Addiction) Gets a Diagnosis


At some point in 2018, the World Health Organization will release the latest version of its International Classification of Diseases (the ICD-11). Rumors suggest the book will publish over the summer, but the WHO’s official statement only says, “the final ICD-11 will be released in 2018.” Thus, it could be any time between now and the end of the year.

If you’re unfamiliar with the ICD and its importance, I’ll simply say that it’s the...


Addictions

Addiction Is an Intimacy Disorder


Addiction and Early-Life Trauma

Addicts are people who’ve lost control over their relationship with a substance or behavior. They use when they don’t want to. They use when they have promised themselves and others they will stop. They use when it pushes them away from family, friends, and other important people. They use when it impacts their work, schooling, finances, reputation, freedom, etc. They tell egregious lies to themselves and others to rationalize and justify their actions. They...


Addictions

When Online Sex Sparks Meth Addiction…

A few months ago I had the pleasure of speaking at a Meth and Sex Addiction public forum in Palm Springs, CA. The three-person panel—myself, David Fawcett, and Terry Gatewood—spoke to an attentive and participatory audience of around 100 addicts and clinicians about the...