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attachment trauma

10 Tips to Lower Holiday Stress

“In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” 

The holidays are notorious for adding stress to the already heavy load for adults struggling to host gatherings, juggle work and family obligations, dodging the flu, not to mention being a triggering time for those impacted by loss and/or trauma. So I conjured up a list of tips to help folks navigate this window of time, which will be over with in a few short weeks, mind you. So strap on your seat belt, hop in your vehicle, and carry on.  Sure and steady, here we go!



Antisocial Personality Disorder

10 Tips for Surviving the Holidays After A Narcissist’s Discard

The holiday time can be difficult, especially if you have recently been "discarded" by a narcissistic romantic partner. Narcissistic abuse recovery most definitely is multi-layered and long-term, punctuated with emotional rawness and resurgences of traumatic grief at milestone times (like holidays and anniversaries, birthdays, etc). There are self care strategies survivors can engage in to ramp up efforts at recovery and healing during the holidays.




Antisocial Personality Disorder

7 Tips to Avoid a Holiday “Hoover” by a Narcissist


 Hoovering: (definition)- noun– The state in which a psychological abuser (typically an individual manifesting symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder or perhaps a blend of other Personality Disorders) returns to attempt to abuse a former source of narcissistic supply (i.e. ego fuel) via text, email, phone or in person (Schneider, 2015). The term “Hoover” refers to the vacuum (by the Hoover brand), as an analogy to suctioning up and reconnecting with prior sources of ego gratification by the narcissistic abuser.




art intervention with children

Riding the Waves of Grief through the Holiday Season

"Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their canyons."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

I so admire Latinx culture, specifically the emphasis on celebrating the lives of their deceased loved ones on a special day, Dia de los Muertos. November 2 marks this tradition, originating in Mexico, to honor ancestors by creating altars with cherished photos, favorite foods, candles, and sugar skulls. Family members gather at grave sites and altars in the home to share stories of their loved ones who have transitioned to the next place, finding comfort in family support through holding the space to narrate the story of their ancestors impact on their lives.  A general spirit of celebration and remembrance is the emphasis, including laughter and camaraderie. Death is not feared. It is merely a passage to a different phase of transcendence.



holiday self care

10 Self-Care Strategies During Trying Times



"Keep close to Nature’s heart... and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean." - John Muir


As a mother, a therapist, a partner, how good am I to any one if I am not taking care of myself? Not so good at all. Those of us in the helping professions (or roles that give out a lot of nurturing energy) especially need to take a pause and focus on replenishment and self-care. When our cup is not topped off, we run on fumes. And that's not helpful to anyone, least of all our selves.


#metoo movemenet

When the News is a Trigger: 10 Ways to Lower Stress

"Within you,  there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat any time and be yourself." - Hermann Hesse

With the latest news cycles churning out politically heated and disturbing information on a daily basis ad nauseum, many trauma survivors are finding they are particularly triggered. Specifically with the recent two-week-long-Kavanaugh-confirmation-to-the-Supreme-Court-drama, sexual abuse survivors (both male and female), are reminded of feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness, and lack of safety. Regardless of what side of the political spectrum you fall on, if you have a trauma history, you are likely quite triggered when you see news which portrays themes of assault survivors being ridiculed and chastised, blamed and shamed, and devalued and discounted. Many feel that politics has taken on an entirely new level of impacting mental health for many people who feel disenfranchised, stigmatized, and shunned. Below are some suggestions for riding this wave of political trauma: