Is Your View Skewed? (The Impact Of Abuse)
Have you ever felt violated when a loved one simply peeks their head into your office to ask a question?
Or perhaps you perceive your mortgage, credit card debt and IRS payments as perpetrators, always pressuring you, always after you, always present?
If so, you’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. This is often what you experience if you’ve ever been abused. Your view of the world is totally skewed. You perceive everything as a perpetrator or a perpetration. This keeps you from relaxing into yourself and life.
But guess what?
Your skewed view is just that: a view, a perspective. And it can be changed.
It starts by acknowledging you’ve been wearing abuse-colored glasses.
It’s like Pavlov’s dogs. Not that I’m calling you a dog. But this phenomenon is known as classical conditioning, something Pavlov discovered and received a Nobel Prize for in 1904.
He found that the dogs in his labs began to salivate anytime he or an associate entered the room. The dogs associated a person with food. Thus, the saliva.
This is what happens if you have ever experienced abuse. You associate smells, tastes, sights, sounds, textures, people, situations, with abuse. So your body might go into lockdown every time you see the family member who once abused you. Or as you’re walking through the mall you get a whiff of cologne that your abuser wore and you go into a panic, even though your abuser is nowhere near.
The thing is, over time, you begin to associate everything with your past abuse. You don’t feel safe. You feel like something must be wrong with you. And you believe the world is out to get you.
As a result, your health, your relationships, your money flows and your sexuality are all limited. How can you fully experience vitality, intimacy, prosperity and pleasure when you view everything as a perpetrator?
All because of the abuse-colored glasses and the associations you believe are true. But they are NOT.
When you can see this phenomenon playing out in your own life, you are then one step closer to changing the glasses you’re wearing. Change the lenses through which you view the world, and the world changes. Just like replacing dark sunglasses with rose-colored glasses.
Your loved one peeks their head into your office and you look up, happy to see them and curious about what they have to say.
You no longer feel dread or anxiety when you open the mailbox (or your inbox) because you know even if there is a bill there, it isn’t bigger than you. It can’t violate you. It’s JUST a piece of paper (or an email).
Imagine being able to see the world for what it truly is: a vast expanse of energies and possibilities desiring to contribute to you. This is seeing the world through Radically Alive-colored glasses. I invite you into this new way of being.
So you may be wondering, how do you make the shift from paranoia (thinking the world is out to get you) to pronoia (seeing how the Universe is conspiring in support of you)?
Start using these two tools. Not only will these support you in creating a shift, they will also serve to bring more awareness to the glasses you’re choosing to wear. Awareness is the first step to changing anything.
2 Tools To Move From Paranoia To Pronoia
Tool #1: Is this really true?
When you perceive something as a threat or a perpetration, it feels so real. This is what leads to paranoia. You desire to trust yourself, too, so you don’t want to question it. It must be real and true.
Yet ask yourself this question, “Is this really true?”
Rather than trying to figure out the answer, tune into your awareness with this. Somewhere deep inside you really know if this is true or a faulty perception. When you are willing to question your perceptions, you begin to untwist the skewed way in which you’ve been viewing everything.
Tool #2: Interesting point of view I have this point of view.
Remember: the abuse-colored glasses are something you can take on or off. I know, it’s deep programming that has you associating everything with perpetration. And yet that perception is just an interesting point of view.
So next time you notice yourself having one of these moments where the perpetration seems so real, say to yourself repeatedly, “Interesting point of view I have this point of view. Interesting point of view I have this point of view. Interesting point of view I have this point of view…”
Notice how this can begin to shift things for you. I use this tool myself and with my clients, and every time, it brings in more awareness to what truly is, rather than our perspectives of it.
So what is it like to see the world through Radically Alive colored glasses?
You see how the Universe is conspiring in support of you. You receive the gift in the exchanges with people, animals and the planet. Life is not always all sunshine and roses when you’re choosing Radical Aliveness, but you ARE more engaged and present to what truly is, and receiving it all as a rightness rather than a wrongness.
Practice using these tools and see how they support you in taking off the abuse-colored glasses and putting the Radically Alive-colored glasses on. I personally know the pain of living with the abuse-colored glasses and the pleasure of choosing the Radically Alive-colored glasses. Believe me, you do have a choice. I hope these tools will support you in tapping into more of the vitality, intimacy, prosperity and pleasure that await you.
Be You. Beyond Anything. Create Magic.
Photo by Satori ♥ Imaging
Cooney, D. (2016). Is Your View Skewed? (The Impact Of Abuse). Psych Central. Retrieved on April 24, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/roar/2016/06/is-your-view-skewed-the-impact-of-abuse/