Addictive Relating

3 Reasons Sexual Assault Is Rooted In Powerlessness, Not Power

Sexual assault is never about sex. Like mass shootings and domestic violence, even pedophilia, these acts are not about power — rather a set of behaviors linked to disordered individuals that at minimum need to be identified for treatment.

These acts are rooted in powerlessness, not power. Why?
1. Acts that exhibit an intent to violate another with disregard for their rights or agency are rooted in a pathological "neediness" for a false sense of...

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5 Supremacist Ideals (Lies) a Narcissist-Sociopath Gets Hooked On

Like an addict, a narcissist-sociopath** numbs the pain of feeling human with quick-fix, temporary feel-goods. A person that meets the criteria for antisocial personality disorder (APD), is hooked on illusions of power over others, regards his skilled use of tools of deception and lies, along with psychological violence as proof of his superiority. Like all quick-fix feel goods, however, these activities never satisfy, only intensify the cravings for more. Desperately, his fear of...

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7 Ways “Toxic Masculinity” Traumatizes Men and Boys

Toxic masculinity is a worldview that, in varying degrees, cajoles men and boys to reject what is human inside them and others, and to war against certain human traits, such as empathy and caring, throughout their lives to prove their "masculinity" and claim "entitlements" to violate and exploit others rights.

Men are human beings however. Forming compassion-based...

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The Ford-Kavanaugh Hearings and 3 Links Between Sexual Assault, Narcissism and the “Cult of Masculinity”

The entire world witnessed, if they watched the Ford-Kavanaugh hearings closely, how the "boys will be boys club" works strategically to legitimize inexcusable acts of sexual assault against women -- which in the club's view, is an entitlement of those in positions of authority, in general.

The pattern is always the same. She reveals sexual assault happened; takes a lie detector test. Under oath, he denies and plays victim. No thorough investigation of...

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12 Ways Narcissists or Sociopaths Reveal a Pathological Intent to Harm

Truth, common sense and wisdom are targets narcissists intentionally attack, thus the need know what tactics narcissists use, and how to protect our minds and hearts from these is real.

The term “narcissist” has become commonplace, too often used to mislabel persons who are demanding or trigger us, we may not agree with or approve, or even more likely, may be targets of narcissistic blame-shifting themselves. 

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3 Paths to Clear the Way to Ending Mass Shootings

Mass shooters are immune to kindness. So are school bullies.

Isabella, a survivor of the Parkland shooting, learned this the hard way. She was nice to a boy who bullied her, and then turned into a mass shooter that ended 17 classmates’ lives several years later.

Lesson learned? Being nice to bullies won't stop them from acting out inner rage impulses to hurt others.

This doesn’t mean we should not be kind.

It means that we must develop our...


15 Reasons Narcissists (and Sociopaths) Lie

Narcissism needs to be redefined. Its premise is a virtual attack on truth. Telling lies to con and exploit others with no remorse forms the basis for the criminal mind, or antisocial personality disorder (APD), also known as sociopathology or psychopathology.

Because of the overlap in key traits, sociopathology can be regarded as  a more severe form of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD); however, there is a lot overlap. Both lack empathy or regard for the feelings...

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7 Insidious Goals of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of narcissist abuse distinct from widespread use of words to attack and hurt another as a result of frustration and conflict. It is perhaps one of the most insidious tactics of emotional manipulation because of it's intent to disturb a target's sense of self and agency, safety and wellbeing, sanity and common sense.

This overarching goal of gaslighting to intentionally traumatize another into participating in their own abuse and...


Dear Narcissist, Stop, You’re on the Wrong Track!

This post consists of a letter from this therapist, which is addressed to those that meet the criteria for narcissistic or antisocial personality disorders, NPD or APD respectively. Ideally, an NPD or APD would read this message, and to some degree, embrace and seek professional help to change the serious patterns of abuse they intentionally use to traumatize others for their own gain.

In reality, persons with these disorders are not likely to...


Your Self-Talk, Taking Back Your Mind From Crippling Lies of Narcissist

When women share their experiences of being in a relationship with a narcissist, they discover that, while the details of each relationship differ — the words and tactics that narcissists use are all so bizarrely the same!
It’s as if they consult one another, work from the same playbook, share game plans. The stuff that comes out of their mouths is, well, the same.

It’s like a secret language, except it’s not a...