Emotional Mastery

Five Subconscious Fears of a Child In the Role of Parent?

In infancy and early childhood, nothing is more essential to a baby than the safety of its caregiver’s warmth, touch, proximity – signals to his emotional and biological systems that he is loved. The safer a baby or small child feels, the more securely attached to the caregiver.

In these first years of life, an infant’s quest to form a love attachment with her primary caregiver, together with the brain’s amazing adaptability, interact dynamically to set enduring neural patterns in the brain that shape the child’s thinking, feeling and behavior patterns, potentially, for a lifetime.

The brain of a small child, it appears, is particularly responsive to the primary caregiver's care in those early years.

Breaks in connection in this period of life signal danger, and when prolonged, this blocks the development of Oxytocin receptors in the brain, what grow the child's capacity to receive and respond to love.

Conscious Lifestyle

The 3 Stages of Love — From Romance to Power Struggle to a Life Dance of Conscious Love

When you fell in love, you viewed life through rose-colored lenses. You saw mostly one another’s perfections, shared your hearts willingly, told each other everything. You forgot your limitations, fears, and inhibitions. You felt loved and—connected, empowered and whole. You hoped it would last forever and thought, “This is how life should be!”

It all began in the ‘falling in love’ stage.

What happened to bring you down to earth?

Couples Communication

Got Conflict? How It Can Boost Your Health, Reduce Cortisol and Lengthen Life

It is well known that conflict is inevitable in life and relationships. Did you know, however, that it also has a positive impact on both your health and the length of your life?

The key lies in how anger is expressed in conflict.

Whereas conflict that produces high levels of emotional stress has a reverse effect on the development of brain cells, low levels of conflict seems to stimulate healthy cell development in the brain.

Emotional Mastery

Neuroscience and Rama – The Quest to Know the Brain and Human Heart

It’s clear that, where the twentieth century was for science a quest to find the grand unified theory, the heartstrings of the twenty-first century have tied the knot with neuroscience.

In the words of renown neuroscientist Vilayanur Ramachandran in his latest book, The Tell-Tale Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Quest for What Makes Us Human:
“Brain science has advanced at an astonishing pace over the past fifteen years, lending fresh perspectives on - well, just about everything.”

Emotional Mastery

How Your Subconscious Mind Meddles in Your Love Relationship (Why Not Have Fun Dancing Instead?), Part 2 of 2

You’d hoped the connection you felt when you fell in love would bring a lifetime of fulfillment and joy, but now it seems the harder you try to get it back, the more it slips away.

We looked at how limiting beliefs, held in subconscious memory, can set conditions that activate defensive words and gestures, and here in Part 2, we consider ways to ensure you create the optimal outcomes you need, when addressing issues, to steer clear of subconscious fears and dance problems away!

Ever wonder how it is that two otherwise intelligent adults cannot seem to solve one or two “simple” problems, such as planning a fun night out together?

Couples Communication

How Your Subconscious Mind Meddles in Your Love Relationship, Part 1 of 2

Are you and your partner enjoying the benefits of intimacy and fun your couple relationship? Or, does reactivity take over your discussions?

The discovery and understanding of how neural patterns operate subconsciously and recent findings on intimate relationships have greatly increased not only our understanding of what causes these problematic patterns for many couples, but also what they can do about it.

Quite honestly, the “real” issues are not what partners argue about.

Emotional Mastery

Why Free Your Subconscious of “Limiting Beliefs”? (To Thrive, Not Just Survive!)

If you resist your own efforts to change a habit, it speaks to the quality of rapport between your mind and body. Simply put, they’re not in synch.

What can disturb this special relationship, essentially, between the conscious logic part of your mind and the subconscious felt-emotion part? In a word, fear.

More specifically, limiting beliefs can activate the body's fear response unnecessarily. Your survival is not at stake, for example, when you discuss a sensitive issue with your spouse, yet your body's defenses act "as if" it is, i.e., with an angry outburst or an emotional shut down.

Emotional Mastery

Your Brain and The Power of “Rehearsing” Your Future

Have you heard the phrase “fake it till you make it”?

Actually, it’s a science. It’s based on some of the latest findings on the brain. It involves using the brain’s power of imagination to “rehearse” optimal performance outcomes, your goals, dreams and future.

It works. Sports psychologists use this approach, for example, to train top athletes and champions to achieve optimal performance.

What does this have to do with your personal life and relationship? You can use this same power to achieve your goals, start a new healthy habit, or let go of an unwanted one.


When Your Subconscious Mind Acts Like A Scared Parent

When your subconscious mind acts like a scared parent, interrupting your life or resisting your efforts to implement change, with its hyper-reactive protective instincts, more than anything, its greatest need is, first, assuring words from you, then, follow up actions that emphatically say you now take full responsibility for the care of yourself and life.

Like a scared parent, your subconscious won’t let go of its protective role without assurance, in word and deed, that you can survive on your own.

Couples Communication

Five Steps to Calm Anger With Empathy

When you are upset, you likely yearn for someone who will listen without judging or trying to fix you, and perhaps responses that gently nudge you in the direction of restoring your sense of belief and hope in yourself or others, perhaps life.  Everyone needs this from time to time. It’s like the refresh button on the computer.

What word describes this feeling? Empathy.