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Emotional Mastery

The Role of Mindfulness and Emotional Mastery in Couple Relationships

Ever notice how many of your thoughts, during a communication with your spouse, take you out of the present moment to future worries or past laments? If you’re not aware of what you tell yourself in your mind (self-talk), and uncertain about how to return to the present moment, you are at risk of mismanaging your emotions in sensitive discussions with your partner.

Why?

The thoughts you think inside your mind end up on your lips. Life-draining thoughts cause similar emotions that, in turn, produce unwanted behavioral outcomes, such as reactivity, in your discussions. And, the point is to obtain great outcomes for both, right?

Now, there is a proven solution: developing a practice of mindfulness to master your emotional states.


Conscious Lifestyle

Set New Year’s Goals You Absolutely Achieve, Part 3 of 3: Amp Up The Love, Calm The Fear

So you’ve gathered positive energy and prepared mentally for success, and, with written S.M.A.R.T. goals in hand, you’re ready to go after the goals you want to realize this year!

What’s next?

In this moment, you feel energized for triumphant outcomes, however, you may also wonder, will you maintain your enthusiasm from start to finish?

Rest assured, you absolutely can!


Conscious Lifestyle

Set New Year’s Goals You Successfully Achieve, Part 2 of 3: How to Write S.M.A.R.T. Goals

The start of a New Year is great time to gather fresh energy and go after what you want in life. It’s a perfect occasion to reflect on your values and aspirations, your dreams and passions, and how you want your life and your relationships to be.

In the previous post, the emphasis was on approaching goal setting with a mindset for success—energized to believe in your capacity for triumphant outcomes in whatever you put your belief-empowered mindset to achieving. In the next, the focus will be on how to maintain your enthusiasm and momentum from start to finish.

The heart of the message in this post is: how to write goals that inspire you to absolutely achieve them.


Conscious Lifestyle

Set New Year’s Goals You Successfully Achieve, Part 1 of 3: A Fear Busting Mindset for Success

It’s that time of year again when there’s fresh inspiration to start anew, a great opportunity to re-energize your life with new possibilities for the success and happiness that await you in the coming year. The sky is the limit.

If you read my previous post on “How New Year’s Goals Give Life Direction,” you know this endeavor is a healthy one, highly recommended for its physical, mental and emotional benefits. Symbolically, it’s a good time to stretch out of an old comfort zone, make desired improvements at home or in your business, or replace a life draining habit with an enriching one, and that’s just for starters.


Couples Communication

Five Habits of Partners Who Enrich Their Marriage (And Brain, Without Knowing It)

Successful marriage partners know it’s not a matter of who’s right or wrong that solves issues in their relationship. A healthy vibrant relationship is a matter of knowing what works and what doesn’t—and consistent action.

Brain research now reveals why certain actions succeed and others fail. As it turns out, the specifics of “how” we treat one another makes a world of difference. It appears that certain actions “work” as they release Oxytocin into the bloodstream – a chemical that floods the body with feeling states of love, safety and connection.

In contrast, when the brain is in survival mode, the brain’s ability to use Oxytocin is impaired, thus, we do not feel safe enough to love or even open to learn from our experiences. (Is this why we keep making the same mistakes?)


Couples Communication

Ten Benefits of Healthy Couple Relationships

Research shows that partners who succeed in their love relationship have specific “emotional intelligence” skills that allow them to maintain an inner calm in conflict. This emotional mastery permits them to feel safe enough to remain present to their partner and the situation without setting off their own brain’s “fight or flee” defenses, which also effectively lowers chances of triggering their partner’s defenses.

The proven benefits are many and substantial. Evidence from neuroscience and studies on attachment and relationship intimacy suggests that skills that support the formation of healthy relationships may well be the singular most important asset in life.


Emotional Mastery

How Mindfulness Builds Emotional Mastery (and Tips to Get Started)

Ever notice how many of your thoughts send you out of the present moment to future worries or past laments in your communications with your spouse or children? If you’re not aware of what you tell yourself in your head (self-talk), or you don’t know how to return your focus to the present moment, it makes managing difficult emotions in your interactions with loved ones challenging, if not impossible.

Why? The thoughts you think inside your mind end up on your lips. They also cause your emotions, in this case, fear-based ones that tend to spin conversations out of control. Your goal, however, is to obtain great outcomes in your life and relationships, right?


General

Five Benefits of Knowing How Your Brain Works

Like others, you may question the value of getting to know the inner workings of your brain. What does knowing how your brain works have to do with your health and healing, and the health of key relationships in your life? Why get so deep, you may ask?

Studies show that knowledge of how your brain works has healthful effects on key relationships. In his observations, researcher and author of The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We are, Daniel Siegel, MD states that, “the human brain is a relationship organ.”  It’s designed to relate. Here are at least five benefits of getting to know it better:


General

Who’s In Control of Conflict in Your Relationship – You or Your Brain?

Why does reactivity hijack our communications with loved ones? Just the slightest comment seems to set us off at times.

When elevated levels of fear flood the brain’s communication network, the “fight or flee” response gets activated. The stress hormone cortisol activates the sympathetic nervous system.

For example, when faced with an impending threat, such as a swerving car, the subconscious mind activates the limbic brain’s 24/7 fear-alarm, the amygdala, to switch on the body’s sympathetic nervous system, or “fight or flee” reaction, with the release of hormones, such as the stress chemical cortisol.

The result?

While this prepares the body to not only act swiftly, but also with superhuman strength to fight or run away, it also disturbs its balance. The part of the brain that runs the autonomic functions of the body has just hijacked all its systems, to include your ability to engage in logical thinking!

It does so for good reason!