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Emotional Mastery

Neuroscience and Rama – The Quest to Know the Brain and Human Heart

It’s clear that, where the twentieth century was for science a quest to find the grand unified theory, the heartstrings of the twenty-first century have tied the knot with neuroscience.

In the words of renown neuroscientist Vilayanur Ramachandran in his latest book, The Tell-Tale Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Quest for What Makes Us Human:
“Brain science has advanced at an astonishing pace over the past fifteen years, lending fresh perspectives on - well, just about everything.”


Emotional Mastery

How Your Subconscious Mind Meddles in Your Love Relationship (Why Not Have Fun Dancing Instead?), Part 2 of 2

You’d hoped the connection you felt when you fell in love would bring a lifetime of fulfillment and joy, but now it seems the harder you try to get it back, the more it slips away.

We looked at how limiting beliefs, held in subconscious memory, can set conditions that activate defensive words and gestures, and here in Part 2, we consider ways to ensure you create the optimal outcomes you need, when addressing issues, to steer clear of subconscious fears and dance problems away!

Ever wonder how it is that two otherwise intelligent adults cannot seem to solve one or two “simple” problems, such as planning a fun night out together?


Couples Communication

How Your Subconscious Mind Meddles in Your Love Relationship, Part 1 of 2

Are you and your partner enjoying the benefits of intimacy and fun your couple relationship? Or, does reactivity take over your discussions?



The discovery and understanding of how neural patterns operate subconsciously and recent findings on intimate relationships have greatly increased not only our understanding of what causes these problematic patterns for many couples, but also what they can do about it.

Quite honestly, the “real” issues are not what partners argue about.


Emotional Mastery

Why Free Your Subconscious of “Limiting Beliefs”? (To Thrive, Not Just Survive!)

If you resist your own efforts to change a habit, it speaks to the quality of rapport between your mind and body. Simply put, they’re not in synch.

What can disturb this special relationship, essentially, between the conscious logic part of your mind and the subconscious felt-emotion part? In a word, fear.

More specifically, limiting beliefs can activate the body's fear response unnecessarily. Your survival is not at stake, for example, when you discuss a sensitive issue with your spouse, yet your body's defenses act "as if" it is, i.e., with an angry outburst or an emotional shut down.


Emotional Mastery

Your Brain and The Power of “Rehearsing” Your Future

Have you heard the phrase “fake it till you make it”?

Actually, it’s a science. It’s based on some of the latest findings on the brain. It involves using the brain’s power of imagination to “rehearse” optimal performance outcomes, your goals, dreams and future.

It works. Sports psychologists use this approach, for example, to train top athletes and champions to achieve optimal performance.

What does this have to do with your personal life and relationship? You can use this same power to achieve your goals, start a new healthy habit, or let go of an unwanted one.


General

When Your Subconscious Mind Acts Like A Scared Parent

When your subconscious mind acts like a scared parent, interrupting your life or resisting your efforts to implement change, with its hyper-reactive protective instincts, more than anything, its greatest need is, first, assuring words from you, then, follow up actions that emphatically say you now take full responsibility for the care of yourself and life.

Like a scared parent, your subconscious won’t let go of its protective role without assurance, in word and deed, that you can survive on your own.


Couples Communication

Five Steps to Calm Anger With Empathy


When you are upset, you likely yearn for someone who will listen without judging or trying to fix you, and perhaps responses that gently nudge you in the direction of restoring your sense of belief and hope in yourself or others, perhaps life.  Everyone needs this from time to time. It’s like the refresh button on the computer.

What word describes this feeling? Empathy.



Emotional Mastery

Five Habits to Gain the Cooperation of Your Subconscious Mind

When thoughts go in several directions at once or when you feel disconnected from what you are doing in the moment, do yourself a favor. Pause for a moment to center your emotional energies.

When you are not centered, fear has overwhelmed the balance of the body, and thoughts feel scattered because the emotional part of the brain is flooded. Your subconscious mind has stopped cooperating with your conscious mind, in fact, it has hijacked all the systems of your body, as happens, whenever the stress response of the body gets activated.

Whether you are worrying about the future or a problem that needs to be fixed or just entertaining anxious thoughts, in effect, you are unwittingly throwing off your body’s balance by entertaining worrisome thoughts that focus your mind on anxious images “out there” somewhere in the future.


Emotional Mastery

The Uncooperative Subconscious Mind: Saboteur or Scared Parent?

When your subconscious mind does not cooperate with your plans, though it may feel like a saboteur, in reality, it’s more like a scared parent. It’s been tracking your beliefs. You’ve scared it into thinking you need to be rescued (by your defense strategies).

It also believes your physical survival is at stake in any emotionally painful situations, when it’s not (hopefully)!

Whenever you get triggered, unless you know how to calm your mind and body, your subconscious mind automatically activates the “fight or flee” response, which interrupts all normal processes of the body to redirect the energy of all systems in the service of your survival.


Emotional Mastery

How to Get Your Own Cooperation: Taming Your Subconscious Mind

Have you ever wanted to break a habit, and found it seemingly impossible? Ever hoped to start a new healthy behavior, yet didn’t follow through – repeatedly? If so, you know the stuck feeling.

Despite good intentions, it seems a part of you, in certain areas, opposes your wish to stop an unwanted behavior or to implement a new one.

Whenever you want to do one thing and do another instead, most likely, you’re experiencing incongruence between the goals of your “conscious” and “subconscious” mind.