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Conscious Lifestyle

Conscious Attention and Emotion – Sculpting Neural Changes in the Brain, Part 2

Advances in neuroscience now enable researchers to ask more sophisticated questions about what optimizes our personal and relational health, happiness, well being – and life in general.

Thanks to advanced technological measurements, for example, instead of theoretical questions, we now can ask causal questions, such as what practices or lifestyle changes lower anxiety or depression, or heighten compassion or physical health today as compared to yesterday.

That’s exciting news.

One of those questions has to do with the effects of shifting the focus of our attention on the brain.


Emotional Mastery

How Conscious Attention Effects Positive Change in the Brain, Part 1

The last two decades have produced more research on the brain and brain technologies than all past years put together.

Much of this new information dramatically changes how we view the brain, revealing mental and emotional capacities that, once we discover how to use them, can be lifelong assets with which we may create positive change to our brains … and do so consciously … in the direction of our highest aspirations.

That’s good news.

In addition to your brain being responsive to change throughout life, it means you can also consciously alter its structure by the particular focus of your attention.

Let's explore how this may be significant to you and your relationships.


Couples Communication

What Defensiveness Means in a Couple Relationship – And the Formula to Create a Safe Haven For Your Love

Recent research on the brain reminds us that all communications, regardless how they are delivered, are attempts to emotionally connect. As it turns out, we are wired for love and empathic connection.

What does it mean when you or your partner react defensively? For one, it means your brains are working the way they’re designed to work.

In Hold Me Tight, research expert on intimacy, Dr. Susan Johnson, states it makes sense scientifically that couples fight over silly things. Beneath the content of what partners say to one another in fights, each wants to be assured of their value in relation to the other.

Partners are asking three core questions that connect to both our deepest yearnings and our deepest fears as human beings:


Emotional Mastery

Three Lessons Learned From Studying Success

Recent findings have increased our understanding about the brain and behavior in the last three decades.

At the same time, we’ve gained much understanding of success by studying persons in their particular areas of achievement, seeking to know their thoughts, beliefs, strategies, and so on.

Here are three important lessons we’ve gained from studying success.


Emotional Mastery

Three Laws of Change – How to Influence Your Subconscious to Manage the Energies of Your Heart

As a mind game of sorts, defensiveness is deceptively destructive. It throws off the energy of the body -- and when your heart is off balance, so are you. In survival mode, fear rules the body, and the brain shifts from learning mode to protective mode, thus, no longer open to influence or change.

An angry outburst, denial, blaming, lying, excuses, withdrawal, and the like, can provide rushes of power in the moment -- cheap thrills, if you will. Yet these are costly when you consider their effects on your personal health and relationships.

Take heart. Change is possible. It has everything to do with applying certain Laws of Change to manage the energies of your heart.



Couples Communication

How Pushing Past Defenses to Feel Your Feelings Makes You Strong — and More Human

Regardless how well intentioned, a defensive approach to getting your partner to cooperate does not, will not, and cannot work. There are compelling reasons to understand and let go of these patterns.

The root cause of defensiveness is a belief system that fosters an inner mindset, which, by its protective nature, emphatically opposes the formation of intimacy in your marriage and other key relationships.


Emotional Mastery

Ten Life Enriching Affirmations and How They Can Transform Your Life

If you’re not already supercharging your life with enriching affirmations, you may be missing out on a powerful way to calm your mind and body, and give your brain a boost.

When you think of it, an affirmation is really anything you say or think to yourself. Meaning, you already practice affirmations 24/7.

When you make it a conscious versus subconscious process, however, you exercise your power to, literally, choose the beliefs that will run your life.


Couples Communication

Five Top Skills Proven to Entice Your Mate to Love and Respect You

The science of intimate relationships has identified specific behaviors of partners that succeed in creating mutually enriching marriages.

Partners who think and act in certain ways nearly guarantee themselves love relationships in which they feel fulfilled, loved and appreciated.

First, the good news is both you and your partner are wired for love, your body’s health depends on it.


Couples Communication

How Healing Your Self-Concept Can Heal Your Couple Relationship

Have you considered how your self-concept affects the quality of your couple relationship? That’s right. The healthier your self-concept is the healthier your relationship.

A question clients frequently ask is: What is the difference between self-concept, self-image and self-esteem?

Your Self-Concept

Your self-concept is how you see you, how you understand and what you believe to be true about you. It is powerful because it shapes your behaviors. It also shapes your life.