10 thoughts on ““Human Heart” Reasons Women May Not Leave Abusive Relationships, 2 of 2

  • September 1, 2020 at 8:26 am

    The only reason I stayed, was the fear of being alone..got a divorce after 31 years of verbal (some physical) abuse; now alone for 19 years….it never gets better being alone.

    The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life. I am now an advocate for the abused. My life story won a scholarship, and I started school at 60! I am a writer, poet, dancer (ballet) and Vietnam era veteran.

    Reply
    • September 2, 2020 at 8:03 am

      Thank you for sharing your own experience, would love to hear more about your story in a conversation via email, can send to info@drstaik.com. In any case, thanks again and best wishes to you.

      Reply
  • September 2, 2020 at 9:53 am

    Thank you. Warm thoughts from Norway. Humans are the same everywhere. Remind me of an old Song.
    The things we do for love…
    Carl Jung said if the unconsious is not made consious, then it is easy to call it fate. My eyes are starting to open and I can slowely start to act.

    Reply
    • September 9, 2020 at 7:37 pm

      Thank you, Gina, for your heart warming comment and greetings from Norway! Carl Jung is a favorite! Best wishes to you

      Reply
  • September 2, 2020 at 2:32 pm

    I’m guessing men stay in abusive narcissistic relationships for very similar reasons. Possibly men also stay in abusive relationships as most material and support in regards to domestic abuse paints the male as the abuser and female victim. I understand domestic abuse Is a very real and traumatic experience for people. Please understand there is a serious lack of support for male victims. I’m not a troll and rarely leave comments online.

    Reply
    • September 9, 2020 at 7:47 pm

      Thanks for commenting, Mr Hayden. All abuse needs to be condemned and off limits, I agree. Most domestic violence abuse victimizes women, approximately 9 to 1, and in many cases where men are victims, the abuser is also male. It makes sense or more sense if you consider the social expectations for men to identify with violence, dominate, display power as proof of “real” masculinity; in contrast to women’s socialization to be “nice” and “never selfish” and so on to prove they are “good” women. You may find the following blog interesting. 5 Reasons Violence and Narcissism Are Not Gender Neutral

      Reply
  • September 4, 2020 at 5:38 am

    I think there is a pattern we fall into co dependency is certainly a key and we look for people we can fix then there is acceptance as we see no why out and even if we finish that relationship we go go to have other abusive relationships as this is what we have been used to it’s not a deliberate act I’m in my third long term relationship was married firstly to an alcoholic for 15 years had 3 kids eventually moved away had enough of the lies and affairs that came with the drinking my second husband was worse than the first though I quickly got out of that one I still made the mistake of going in again and giving my all my third and still ongoing relationship is again with an alcoholic who is no longer abusing alcohol and getting violent through misuse but it took many years to get here we do not live together and he often works away so o only see him weekends at the minute and it give me a chance to breathe sometimes I think I’m selling myself short but he has many good qualities and I do believe he loves me I happy living in my own anyway and am now about to go back and finish my degree I feel I do not need a man to complete me friendship and companionship a good book and a glass of wine occasionally and my dog lol I’m now 62 and it had taken me all this time to take control for me to ultimately realise my own self worth and not put up with any nonsense x

    Reply
    • September 9, 2020 at 7:17 pm

      Thanks for commenting, Pauline. Yes, the pattern is common but it has to do with intentionally shaped ideas (fantasies, illusions) that are ingrained, in varying degree, in women’s minds from childhood. You may be interested to reading my blog on : Fantasies All the best,

      Reply
  • October 6, 2020 at 9:02 am

    I have stayed even though he has asked me to leave at times. We, I feel are toxic to each other. Financially & fear of being/living alone is why I stay. I am unsure if I can afford to live on my own.
    I met a guy in the last three yrs. that I have grown a deep connection with. This guy was married his wife left him. He told me he would wait for me. I should not have believed him. But I did. I told him he should see other woman. Look for someone. Well he finally has & now I am devastated. I was seriously contemplating moving out on my own & now it feels it will be all for nothing. I know that is not the case as I need to do this for my own self. I am just hurt.

    Reply
 

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