7 thoughts on “Stonewalling, What Makes It Similar Yet Distinct From Gaslighting? 1 of 2

  • November 4, 2017 at 9:49 am

    Where is the part 2 to this article? Can you link it?

    Reply
  • June 23, 2018 at 11:40 pm

    I grew up in a family of the “silent treatment”. Firstly from my mother and then from two siblings who saw the power in this behaviour. It is one of the most insidious forms of emotional blackmail; it’s saying you don’t matter, you are not worthy of having a conversation with, you don’t exist. It doesn’t end there though. If you were like me and wanted connection and approval you would say “I’m sorry” just to keep the peace. There were no apologies, no accountability for the abusive behaviour, no nothing. It took me decades to realise that I didn’t have to put up with this behaviour from anybody, including my family of origin. Thank goodness I walked away from all that stuff.

    Reply
  • June 24, 2018 at 2:00 pm

    Is a very enlightening article, thank you. I have often thought that it takes a manipulative mind to understand such a treatment. It is crashing an innocent or “ignorant” victim. I consider such a destructive behavior criminal!

    Reply
  • September 23, 2018 at 8:14 am

    I had that done to me for decades, as a child, teen, and young adult. It is emotionally destructive, and I believe there is (at least in cases) a far more aggressive attitude behind it than suggested in this article. In my forties I still haven’t gotten past it. It should be regarded as severe psychological abuse, not as a form of “defense”.

    Reply
    • September 30, 2018 at 8:43 am

      Thanks for commenting Selvaggia. I agree with your observation that stonewalling in many cases is part of an aggressive pattern of narcissistic abuse. In this article, I wanted to emphasize that what can appear as stonewalling as well is a victim who is shut down by any sign conflict, a ptsd like symptom, and expresses anger by avoiding interaction and talking. In other words it’s a coping pattern that is not ideal yet helps them cope with fear of doing anything that would set off a narcissist, and so on. Thanks again and best wishes.

      Reply
  • November 3, 2018 at 4:59 am

    This is what I grew up with.

    Reply
    • November 4, 2018 at 2:28 pm

      Me too. I sincerely feel your pain. It took me decades to process all that, and realize (at least rationally) that that silence was not my fault.

      Reply
 

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