Archives for Addictive Relating

Addictive Relating

The Goals of a Narcissist Partner (Protect Your Mind and Heart)


Really think. Is it coincidence that online information on narcissism is getting a bit misleading, wittingly or unwittingly, in the direction of feeding into a narcissist's goals to blame-shift the label onto those they victimize, and then trick well meaning others to side with them?

One also wonders, how much of the practice of "no contact," on the increase as well, plays into the isolation goals of narcissists to separate those they prey on away from vital support systems, parents in particular, but also siblings, friends,...
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Addictive Relating

7 Reasons Forgiveness Is Your Nature

Forgiveness, most agree, is the right thing to do. It's also an inner ability to access certain resources and cultivate the strength and courage needed to choose to take the higher road.  And the higher road, well, that's where you find wisdom, health, happiness, peace of mind, among other priceless gifts.

Arguably, forgiveness is a practice that is key to reaching your human potential, essentially, who you are.

There are at least 7 reasons why forgiveness can be described as integral to human nature:
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Addictive Relating

A Holiday Gift to Self, 3 Goals to Emotion Regulation Mastery (Feel Optimally!)


Emotion mastery is a learned ability to navigate challenging emotions and moments, and to feel optimally, at least enough to make choices you'll be happy with later.

It's a vital skill, also known as emotional intelligence.

Emotions are powerful energies, and upsetting emotions in particular, can either be our greatest teachers, when we understand them as action signals to help us grow — or our worst enemies, when we fight or seek to avoid or numb them.

"Love cures people, both...
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Addictive Relating

Thanksgiving, Why Your Health and Happiness Depend On it

It’s that time of year again. The day of giving thanks is here, and with it, a reminder to reflect on the blessings in our lives.

How refreshing this holiday can be, pondering the beautiful truth it symbolizes!

Thanksgiving draws many like a magnet.

Let's “give thanks more often," you hear some say, while others chime in with, “why wait a year?"

Good question, why do most tend to wait for this time of year to...
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Addictive Relating

Beauty Lives .. It’s Our Nature to Choose Thoughts of Love and Healing

Today the hearts of many in our country, and around the world, are heavy in response to the election results.

There are feelings of grief and loss, anger and betrayal, among others, are only natural. These feelings after all reflect the extent and depth to which many on the left care about continued progress, in terms of granting every citizen -- and not just a select few -- the right and freedom to enjoy a living wage, clean air, water and food, and most of all to...
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Addictive Relating

7 Steps to Emotionally Heal After Leaving (or Living With) a Narcissist

Once you accept that you’re entangled in a love relationship with a narcissist, you have a key decision to make, either to: remain in the relationship for now, or leave. Or perhaps you've already left, yet keep getting entangled in the narcissist's hoovering tactics.

In either case, give yourself time to cultivate a new understanding of how different the narcissist's worldview is from yours, to identify and avoid the mind game traps they set, and in general, to practice new...
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Addictive Relating

Codependency, as an Out of Balance, Addictive Relating Pattern, 2 of 2

The overall tendencies for women and men in couple relationships toward some degree of codependency and narcissism respectively, may best be understood looking through the lens of socially approved gender roles. As mentioned in Part 1, narcissism is both a destabilizing mindset, and an addictive relating pattern. In the meantime, a codependent's overzealous attempts to please and appease the narcissist are also destabilizing and addictive.

Perhaps the key difference overall lies in what they each hope to accomplish...
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Addictive Relating

The Mindset of Narcissism, an Off-Balance Addictive Relating Pattern, 1 of 2



Narcissism and codependency are highly addictive relating patterns that keep both partners off balance. That's because they are driven by toxic thinking patterns, or mindsets, which spawn survival-love fears, illusions of power, limiting views of love, and unrealistic expectations for what it means to be human, male or female.

To the extent one partner is off-balance, lost in their own fear-based mindsets and illusions, the other is thrown off, and both get locked into an inevitable dance that keeps them...
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Addictive Relating

3 Secrets to Outsmarting a Narcissist (By Not Trying to)


Is it possible to outsmart a narcissist? Perhaps, but only if you're willing to downgrade your standards to act like one.

Admittedly, this post began with a trick question! The point was to say, first, why would you want to? And also, that taking that approach can be trap! This post explains why.

The narcissist has a wounded ego, and the suffering they cause is a projection of the inner suffering and wounds they avoid. Their greatest fear is to...
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Addictive Relating

7 Ways to Repel (Rather Than Attract) a Narcissist

It's not uncommon, once a person experiences a relationship with a narcissist, to vehemently want to avoid or prevent a repeat.

So what best guarantees a relationship will not turn into a dance of codependency and narcissism?

In part, success has to do with identifying certain red flags that help you understand what narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is, a few secret insights into a narcissist's worldview, and what codependency traits unwittingly supply energy to narcissism.

What best repels narcissism, however, has to do with certain practices that persons who are committed...
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