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Archives for September, 2014

Addictive Relating

Handling Fears: Three Ways Fear Is Your Friend, 1 of 2

When we get triggered by an event, it’s tempting to follow the accompanying thoughts down a rabbit hole to the useless world of doubts and negative forecasts, and other “oh no’s and “what if’s.”

Doing so is usually counterproductive however and likely to intensify fear instead, perhaps to the point of activating defense strategies, and other stuck, harmful patterns. When thoughts intensify fears to levels that flood the mind and body with cortisol, fear can virtually shut down...
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Addictive Relating

How to Argue to Strengthen Your Relationship: The Power of Giving the Love You Each Want, 3 of 3


Speaking of breaking free of the criticizing habit, a step discussed in Part 2, it's a lot easier to achieve when you also shift your focus to wanting to understand what you each want, then actively giving or supporting each other to realize your wants and yearnings etc. -- at minimum with the energy you bring. These two remaining steps strengthen your relationship, and are the subject of this post.
Step 4: Know What You Each Want — and...
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Addictive Relating

How to Argue to Strengthen Your Couple Relationship, 2 of 3

Like it or not, you are the one constant in your couple relationship. If your couple relationship is on the rocks and you're wondering why you seem to "attract" certain issues or partners, here's a sobering thought (and potentially uplifting): What you bring to your relationship shapes you and your life. If you're not consciously choosing what you bring, , in terms of your intentions, thoughts, actions etc., you're sitting on pure power, waiting to go to work...
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