5 thoughts on “Grudges: Who Really Suffers?

  • September 11, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Sure, that makes sense, yet it so easy to say and write, yet extremely difficult to do for those who have suffered extremely damaging experiences at the hands of truly evil people. Such past, repeated abuses make it impossible to just let go. Professional help is necessary, and many who suffer are unable to afford it.

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    • September 18, 2013 at 9:18 am

      Gracie, I completely understand where you are coming from and to some extend I agree…sometimes when you have been a victim of “evil abusers” it can be hard to let go of the ill feelings you have towards them…I used to confuse “forgiving” them…I forgive in my heart but I don’t allow them back into my life. Forgiveness is a slow and difficult process and you can’t do it alone. I couldn’t afford therapy like the article suggested, I how I am learning to forgive is by reading and studying…it does take a lot of time but in the end it’s worth it to be free from these emotional feelings that keep us down. I’m not 100% “there” yet…but I am getting there day by day! God bless you and hope you find some resolution soon!

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  • June 24, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    I agree with you that holding grudges are not particularly healthy, but primarily for another reason altogether. I’m not a young man anymore, despite my wishing I was, and I remember not long ago holding a grudge against another member of my family. The longer it went on the more I started thinking about how would I feel if, God forbid, something happened to them and I never got the chance to make things right?? The fear and pain of how devastating that would feel has kept me from holding any grudges. Life is too short and too unpredictable to hold any.

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  • December 7, 2015 at 1:06 pm

    I really relate to this article. I have an in law who in her mind thinks I’m dangerously manipulative and would not not care to understand my journey or spiritual path. So I don’t know except I know that her issue is HER issue and I pray for her.

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  • December 8, 2015 at 6:08 pm

    Hi there,

    I found this beautifully worded article as I was seeking some peace of mind, along with help with my own situation. I love this man deeply, like no other. He has trouble brushing aside certain hurtful words that I’ve uttered, whether it was out of frustration, hopelessness etc.

    I said that we shouldn’t be together anymore, due to me having a bad work related situation, I wasn’t myself, felt unhappy. But…I wasn’t unhappy with him, just felt unhappy and frustrated due to lack of physicality over recent weeks.

    I instantly regretted saying it, because I didn’t mean it, at all. People have opinions on whether words are meant, but I know in my heart that some are said out of anger, frustration, calling for help etc.

    I was torn, torn to pieces when he said that didn’t want to be with me even though I had apologised, explaining that it wasn’t meant. He can keep this going for ages, and it feels like I’m punished for a slight wrong turn with wordage.

    We eventually worked things through, I was so distraught, hysterical and down..I couldn’t breathe.

    So, I’m sorry if this is a long, and convoluted post, but I just wanted to say that it isn’t a good thing to hold a grudge, because it truly causes so much pain, it hurts the heart.

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