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Archives for August, 2012

Family

Too Much Confrontation? (Confronting Friends, Part 2)

Confrontation with anyone, let alone our friends, can be difficult. One of the skills we hope to develop is how to speak up for ourselves and advocate for our needs with other people. This doesn't only mean learning how to ask for what we want, but also learning how to confront others when we feel wronged or in some way upset by them.

When strengthening a previous area of personal weakness and...
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Divorce

How Do I Convince My Partner to Start Therapy?

I am often asked the question of how to get a friend or a partner to enter (their own) therapy. This can be for any relationship partner, including platonic friends as well as romantic partners. These partners or friends usually fall into two categories: 1) People who we see are in genuine need of assistance (to the point the person's struggles are visible to others); or, 2) people we are generally frustrated with (,...
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Divorce

When is it Time to End a Relationship?

Many of us have been there at one time or another -- in a relationship that is causing us stress, maybe too much stress. There is potential for the relationship to fulfill our ideal, but something keeps it from getting there. We end up battling, at times to our own emotional detriment, to keep the relationship going even through a steady lack of fulfillment.

Sometimes we break up, get back together, frustratingly chase...
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Family

Do “Right” and “Wrong” Exist?

The simple answer is, yes. There are generally agreed to certainties in the world that can be viewed in terms of "right" and "wrong." For example: two plus two equals four; an apple is an apple; and so on. But, the less simple answer is that the concept of "right" and "wrong" is often misused, which causes unnecessary conflict and contention in relationships of all kinds (partners, friends, family, etc.).

On a regular basis,...
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Divorce

“My Partner’s Ex is Ruining Our Relationship!”

Have you ever been in a relationship (or known someone who has) where your partner has children from a previous relationship, and the ex -- the children's other parent -- becomes a constant negative presence in your relationship?

Being in a relationship with the custodial parent of a broken family can present its set of challenges (whether or not you bring your own children to the relationship). When there's an adversarial relationship between your...
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General

What Attracts Us to Bad Relationships?

What qualities do you look for in a partner? Charming, sweet, good smile, sexy, smart, good to their family and so on? So many people look for similar qualities in a partner, but it's common to see people in relationships where their partner can be hurtful, neglectful, disrespectful, or downright mean at times.

How did they end up with this kind of person?

Attraction is an interesting and tricky psychology, and in order to shed...
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