The Direct Path to Self-Awareness

The hidden power of the shadow.

“You can learn more about yourself in a week in a marriage than you can meditating for 10 years in a cave.”   —Stephen Levine

 Carl Jung referred to as the “shadow” as the parts of ourselves that we judge as undesirable and try to conceal. One of the underlying objectives of psychotherapy is to bring our shadow into conscious awareness so that we can come to terms with ourselves with greater self-acceptance. For this reason, “shadow work” or the re-claiming of disowned parts of ourselves, is one of the most powerful things we can do to promote healing in ourselves and within all of our relationships. The shadow is not inherently negative, in fact it contains very powerful and necessary aspects that we deny our selves access to when we disown them. Shadow work involves more than just acknowledging shameful aspects of ourselves, but recognizing the healing and creative value of those qualities and holding them with respect, rather than contempt.


How do you spell “Success”?

It’s not necessarily spelled “M-O-N-E-Y”.

“People may spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find, once they reach the top, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.” - Thomas Merton.

The notion that money can’t buy happiness is deeply ingrained...


The Hidden Sources of Attraction

Your Conscious Mind Isn’t Necessarily Your Best Guide

We are attracted to people for many different reasons, some of them conscious, some unconscious. Some of the conscious reasons have to do with how the person looks, how they act, the sound of their voice, the sensation of their touch, and other sensory cues. These are things we can identify and recognize; they are obvious and self-evident. Yet lying below the surface of our conscious awareness are subtle, less apparent factors that contribute to the degree of attractiveness we find in others. These factors relate to unspoken, even unknown wishes and desires for what we might be able to experience with this person. They involve the agenda of the heart and they often are very distinct from the desires of the mind. Such agenda can include the hopes of fulfillment, the healing of buried wounds, or a realization of our deepest life potential.


The Hidden Cost of Fitting In

Zumbach the Tailor

Here's a story that you may have heard, but its message is timeless and it bears repeating:

There once lived a tailor name Zumbach who had a reputation for making the finest of clothing. He used only the best fabrics and he was especially known for his impeccable suits. One day a man named Sam walked into his shop and plopped down a large bundle of money in front of the famous tailor.


What’s Missing With Our Over-Reliance on Electronic Technology?

It’s probably no surprise to most of us that the most popular form of communication amongst young people these days is (drum roll)….TEXTING! No surprise there. But here’s something that might surprise you. This is not to deny that there are many benefits of texting, including the speed through which messages can be delivered and responded to, the minimization of actual person to person or even voice to voice contact (which affords a certain safety...


Thinking About Getting Marriage Counseling?

Five things to consider before getting professional help.

“Marriage is a pit full of pitfalls devised by a devious deity for our conscious evolution” – Wavy Gravy

There are few if any couples who have been together any amount of time who have managed to successfully avoid any of the many pitfalls that that are inherent in committed partnerships. We know (personally and professionally) many couples who were convinced that theirs was a relationship that was the exception to this rule only to find after the first major disappointment, or the first child, or the first serious disagreement, or the last straw, that they were wrong. And while there are some couples who do experience deep marital fulfillment with little if any serious conflict along the way, for the vast majority of couples, not just those who are mismatched or emotionally unbalanced, stuff happens. Sometimes it’s bad stuff that doesn’t just go away over time, or when you ignore it, or when one partner intimidates the other into backing down or shutting up.