The Gifts of Giving

 Giving of ourselves is giving to ourselves.

 “Conscious perfect love is when you love someone so completely that you wish only for your beloved’s self realization. That they are given the space and the wherewithal to discover who they are without thought of reciprocation or reward for oneself.”    


The greatest strength that we possess does not come from money, from fame from influence, from glory, or from any of the trappings of power that most of...


Raise the Heat in Your Relationship This Summer

Every year, Charlie and I take two summer vacations-one with our kids and grandchildren, and one just with each other. They don't have to be real long, just long enough to get a clean break from our day-to-day lives. These vacations each provide us with very different experiences, and we love them both. But it's the one we take by ourselves that gives us the time to reflect together on where we are and where...


You Can Take It with You But You Might Not Want To.

Samuel Johnson once said that there is something about facing the end of life that tends to focus one's attention, particularly on those aspects of life that we may previously have ignored, denied, or put off. Inevitably there comes a time when the debts from all of this procrastination come due; and the piper must be paid, with interest and penalty fees. The cost of deferring our concerns and true feelings until "later" can be...


Not Enough Time? Don’t Take It Personally

The Hidden Causes of the Work/Family Conflict
Laura: “Now that I am back to work full time, I get up at 5:00 to get the kid’s lunches ready. I often find myself doing laundry at 10:00 Last week I was picking up groceries at the supermarket at 11:00 , and my stomach is churning while driving to the day care center because I don’t want to be charged the late pick-up fee. I’m so...


The Break That Can Save Your Marriage

Jesse, our first born, was three years old before I was willing to leave him for a vacation with my husband, Charlie. To say that I had been an obsessed, overprotective, neurotic, overwhelmed mother well, just about right. My parents, who lived over four hundred miles away, were the only other people with whom I would entrust my baby. I wasn't totally wacko, but pretty close.

Our destination was Martha's Vineyard. On our first night,...


Four Tips For Dealing With Marital Boredom

Yes, it can be a real problem to be bored with one's spouse. It's a frequently voiced complaint that therapists hear from their clients. Fortunately, this condition can usually be easily fixed. Unfortunately, the source of the problem is generally in the last place that you want to look. That would be at yourself. The very things that initially attracted us to our partner can sometimes later on be a source of irritation. For example...


When You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling

"Jeremy told me that he loves me but he's not IN love with me. I knew where this was going and sure enough I was right. The next thing he said was 'I want us to be friends, good friends'. Well the very LAST thing I want to be with him right now is his friend. I don't ever want to see him again!"

Ellen was upset. Actually she was outraged, and hurt,...


True Love Isn’t For Wimps

“For one human being to love another, that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.”    -   Rainer Maria Rilke

It’s mysterious that a process as natural and universal as loving can as challenging for so many of In fact, it seems that more often than not, the art of learning to love well is one...


Ordinary People, Extraordinary Relationships

In Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Outliers, he writes eloquently about those individuals who have achieved an extremely high level of success and accomplishment in their chosen fields of interest. Outliers are those people whose achievements fall well beyond the range of normal experience.

His examples are of those who have made the very most of their potential. He points out that there were a number of critical factors in their ability to accomplish what they did, among...

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