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The “C” Word

One of the most frequently asked questions we hear from people (mostly women) these days is: “What is it about men and commitment?” If you look closely at this question you might notice a few things about it. First of all, it’s not actually a question, but rather an assertion with a question mark at the end of it. It presumes that there is a problem that men have with commitment specifically with regard to relationships The implication is that commitment is a “men’s” issue. Terms such as “commitment-phobic” further reinforce the idea that there is something irrational or fear-based going on with someone who is reluctant to engage in a committed partnership. We are not saying that this suggestion may not have some truth to it, but rather, pointing out the difference between asserting a “truth” and expressing a concern. The danger in making sweeping statements is that they tend to be overly inclusive and highly generalized, and therefore, not necessarily accurate.


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