7 thoughts on “7 Steps to Healing Broken Trust

  • July 8, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    All this assuming of course that the offended partner holds to a zero tolerance view of Infidelity.

    I do and the very instant I were to find out, I would begin an orderly dissolution of the relationship.

    Call me old fashioned!

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  • July 8, 2013 at 8:39 pm

    Sorry, I meant ‘assuming of course that the offended partner doesn’t hold to a zero tolerance view of infidelity.’

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  • July 10, 2013 at 10:38 pm

    having read this article, I now regret not only the deed but the repercussions. I betrayed my best friend of 14 years by having a stupid affair with her husband. The whole thing was bad because she has far more to offer him than me, and I did not want him to stay with me anyway. It was just a cry for attention after 6 years of widowhood. It took me some time to recover, but I didn’t contact them again. She did write a really nice letter to me! Then a number of years past. I should have left it there, but wanted to get in touch with her again. I wrote apologizing, then I gave her excuses saying her husband had ‘pursued me relentlessly’ which was true.I didn’t expect her to reply, but she did, and said a lot of very nice things, but that she no longer wanted a relationship with me. I can understand that. I still feel very guilty, but learned from it.

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  • July 11, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    This was a good article. I wish someone like Linda & Charlie Bloom had been around when I went through this particular nightmare. Instead our therapists insisted that any discussion of lying and cheating was ‘off-limits’ both during sessions and outside of them. So of course the person who made a practice of lying and cheating had no motivation to change, and never did.

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  • July 17, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    Having been betrayed twice, once physically during the timeline of
    before and while living together, and second time after marriage by an emotional affair, texting.
    How on earth can I ever start to trust again?

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  • July 17, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    How can you begin to trust someone who has repeatedly lied and STOLEN from you, and still acts in a sneaky and secretive way? He SAYS he wants to change, and apologizes when he’s caught in his lies. I have become a suspicious and judgemental person. I hate this. I have never been the type of person that questions every move a person makes. I don’t trust him…ever. He has betrayed my trust in BIG ways and small, silly ways. Lying about small things, and I can’t take it anymore. Even if he DID clean up his act, and never gave me another reason to distrust him, I don’t think that I am able to open up enough to let him hurt me again. I’m past the point of even wanting ‘US’ to work anymore. I hope that someday I will be able to trust another man enough to let him “in” my closed heart.

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  • July 17, 2013 at 10:51 pm

    It gets more complicated when domestic violence is in the picture; does the same thinking apply in such cases regarding rebuilding trust? And what if both violations are happening: one partner was a perpetrator of domestic violence and the other was unfaithful. The one who was abused does not want to be accountable or answer interrogations because she has been controlled for so long in the past. She wants to be trusted without being willing to be transparent. Yet he needs answers to let go of his suspicions that it is or will happen again–the infidelity.

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