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Are You Fighting More These Days?

Linda: The stress is on, so here are a few things that may assure you that your stress level is normal and understandable with the drastic and sudden changes that we are in the midst of. Here are ten of the challenges that I am hearing from those around me.

  1. Introverts and Extraverts: The extraverts are suffering because they don’t have the daily contact with friends that keep them in good shape and the introverts are suffering because they are caged up in the house or apartment without enough time to themselves. The extraverts are particularly lonely, challenged to figure out alternate ways to stay connected to family and friends.
  2. Financial Concerns: So many people are tense about money, since they are out of work and don’t know if their place of work will even survive the pandemic or if the company survives, how long it will take to get back on its feet.
  3. Health Conservatives and Liberals: There is usually one of the pair that is more conservative about issues of safety and the other that is more relaxed. There is a lot more at stake in these times about health and safety issues. Many couples are in disagreements about how many precautions to take.
  4. Give Chaos a Chance: Many of us are not good at being in the unknown. Most people like lots of predictability and security. We are all challenged to be in the mystery, making it up as we go along in this huge transition.
  5. Who Do We Trust? People feel so uncertain about who, in the positions of authority, they can trust. There are a lot of contradictory opinions for instance about wearing masks and sheltering in place. It’s nerve-racking to not know who to trust. Even the highly trained, highly experienced medical experts are making it up as they go along.
  6. Kids: With the kids out of school, parents are stressed attempting to home school and entertain them. As much as we love and adore our kids, it’s a piece of work to become their teachers on top of being their parents.
  7. Incompletions: Any unfinished business laying around in the relationship can be amplified by the general stress and bring it to the surface. People don’t have their normal escapes of going to work, movies, restaurants, bars, even to friend’s houses. So their incompletions are in their face.
  8. Global Village: We are now so very well aware of the interconnected nature of every country on our planet. Even if our immediate family and friends are doing fine, we are impacted by the plight of those all over the world that are sick and dying, which takes a big bite out of our well-being and equanimity.
  9. Frustration: Feeling helpless to do much about the suffering that is going on all over the world can feel overwhelming.
  10. Facing death: Our awareness is heightened that we could be one of the people who contracts the disease and does not recover. One of the huge challenges dropped in our lap is an opportunity to assess if we are living the life we really want to live and what adjustments we need to make.

Because of the magnitude of the crisis, couples have huge opportunities to up-level their life and their relationship:

  • relationship skills around cooperation and collaboration
  • communication skills
  • conflict management skills
  • negotiation skills
  • develop patience, acceptance, tolerance, and cooperation
  • emotional intimacy
  • becoming more experienced in being in Don’t Know Mind.

There are big opportunities is a big crisis like this one. I hold the vision that many people will use it.

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Are You Fighting More These Days?


Bloomwork

Linda Bloom LCSW and Charlie Bloom MSW are considered experts in the field of relationships. They have been married since 1972. They have both been trained as seminar leaders, therapists and relationship counselors and have been working with individuals, couples, and groups since 1975. They have been featured presenters at numerous conferences, universities, and institutions of learning throughout the country and overseas as well. They have appeared on over two hundred radio and TV programs. Linda and Charlie are co-authors of the widely acclaimed books: 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last (over 100,000 copies sold) Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truth from Real Couples about Lasting Love, and Happily Ever After...and 39 Other Myths about Love: Breaking Through to the Relationship of Your Dreams. The Blooms are excited to announce the release of their fourth book, That Which Doesn't Kill Us: How One Couple Became Stronger at the Broken Places. They live in Santa Cruz, California, near their two children and three grandchildren. To view our upcoming events and to sign up for our free newsletter, visit our website at: www.Bloomwork.com


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APA Reference
Bloom, L. (2020). Are You Fighting More These Days?. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 2, 2020, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationship-skills/2020/04/are-you-fighting-more-these-days/

 

Last updated: 16 Apr 2020
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.