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 is Like Launching A Rocket

Marriage
 is Like Launching A Rocket

Linda: Just as a space shuttle burns about 90 percent of its fuel during the initial moments of its flight, marriage requires its greatest expenditure of energy during its early stages. In marriage, however, these stages are more likely to last a few years rather than a few minutes. It’s at the beginning of most marriages that we are likely to encounter the real challenges of commitment, such as the need to let go of control, the ability to overcome resistance to change, the willingness to put aside our ego-desires in favor of shared concerns, and the willingness to be vulnerable and honest in the face of fear and pain.

Fortunately, this degree of concentrated energy is not required on a permanent basis. Once a marriage gets past the initial stages, the amount of energy needed to fuel the commitment decreases significantly. Unfortunately, many couples fail to make it past those challenges that show up in the early stages. When faced with the inevitable demands that occur in all committed partnerships, one or both people may decide that it’s too much work; that they’re just not up for the job; that they can’t live this way for fifty years; that in one way or another, the prospect is overwhelming.

However, those couples that can find the strength and the hope to resist the temptation to bail out when they hit the inevitable feelings of discouragement are usually rewarded for their stamina and efforts by tapping into a mighty power. They are the ones who understand that these feelings and doubts are nearly universal and do not reflect some basic dysfunction in their new marital relationship. They know that if they just keep trying, and trusting, they will in all likelihood develop the strength that marriage demands. Just as an athlete grows stronger by facing down his desire to quit and by hanging in there when his body wants to give up, committed partners do the same. The reward for this kind of perseverance is more than a good marriage; it’s also the almost overwhelming sense of personal well-being that is the by-product of honoring the marital commitment.

Yes, it can be damn hard, but the process gets easier over time, and the rewards can greatly exceed our expectations. We feel the power of love. Love is a mighty force. What love can do is unimaginable for most of us. It is a potent force in the universe and not nearly tapped into enough.

Love can provide a sense of belonging. Here are some examples of the power of love. It can:

  • bring a sense of comfort and security
  • inspire us to take risks
  • fill our emptiness 
  • redeem our suffering due to a difficult childhood
  • redeem our suffering due to difficult adult relationships
  • heal our sense of unworthiness
  • bring up our self-esteem
  • ground us in reality
  • prompt us to live an authentic life
  • heal our shame
  • keep us from suicide
  • dissolve self-hatred
  • stimulate our creative expression
  • bring out our best qualities
  • inspire us to commit courageous acts
  • and more…

Do you believe that these benefits warrant the great expenditure of energy during your partnership’s early stages?

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Our newest book, That Which Doesn’t Kill Us: How One Couple Got Stronger at the Broken Places, has just been published by Sacred Life Publishers and been receiving rave reviews. Their story is illuminating, instructive, and deeply inspiring. It has been described as being as compelling and engaging as a page-turning novel. The book contains powerful messages that are embedded in its pages that can serve any couple that desires valuable wisdom which can serve them in facing the inevitable challenges that frequently confront many committed partnerships. The book is available online on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. You can also receive a signed copy of That Which Doesn’t Kill Us by ordering directly from Bloomwork by calling (831) 421-9822 or emailing us at [email protected]. The cost is $16.95 plus tax, shipping & handling.

Marriage
 is Like Launching A Rocket

Bloomwork

Linda Bloom LCSW and Charlie Bloom MSW are considered experts in the field of relationships. They have been married since 1972. They have both been trained as seminar leaders, therapists and relationship counselors and have been working with individuals, couples, and groups since 1975. They have been featured presenters at numerous conferences, universities, and institutions of learning throughout the country and overseas as well. They have appeared on over two hundred radio and TV programs. Linda and Charlie are co-authors of the widely acclaimed books: 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last (over 100,000 copies sold) Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truth from Real Couples about Lasting Love, and Happily Ever After...and 39 Other Myths about Love: Breaking Through to the Relationship of Your Dreams. The Blooms are excited to announce the release of their fourth book, That Which Doesn't Kill Us: How One Couple Became Stronger at the Broken Places. They live in Santa Cruz, California, near their two children and three grandchildren. To view our upcoming events and to sign up for our free newsletter, visit our website at: www.Bloomwork.com


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APA Reference
Bloom, L. (2018). Marriage
 is Like Launching A Rocket. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 18, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationship-skills/2018/07/marriage%e2%80%a8is-like-launching-a-rocket/

 

Last updated: 12 Jul 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 12 Jul 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.