Commitment and intention are both mighty forces, and are especially potent when they are combined. Commitment is one of the most important variables that contributes to the outcome of a project, whether it be finding someone to marry, co-creating a fulfilling marriage, a professional project, our health, an athletic event, bringing up a child, learning a new skill, or any accomplishment we seek.
Those who are strong in commitment have a sense of being able to influence, (not control) their own destiny. They possess confidence in their capacity to fulfill their intentions. They are not just wishing and hoping, but demonstrate their willingness to put out the effort to do the work required. They exercise their creative ability and invite support from others. They usually elicit such support by living a life in which they continually offer and provide it to others. They have earned such high level support because they have paid their dues.
Commitment is a force field of concentrated and focused energy. The definition of intention comes from intendere, to stretch towards, an aim that guides action. When we stop to consider the power of intention, we can see that when we create a vision and we remain faithful to our vision, it is very likely that it will be fulfilled. The following story of an unlikely pair clearly shows the power of commitment and intention to manifest the highest of aspirations.
Sugie was fifty-three years old when his mother died. He had never been married and had always lived with her. Her death was a grievous loss. Before she died, he had dated intermittently, but after her death, he committed himself to finding a wife. Sugie was not exactly the picture of an eligible bachelor. He was short, chubby, and bald, but he knew he had a great deal of love to give. He was tenacious in his attempts to locate a partner. When he had exhausted the possibilities in his small town in West Virginia, he went to Kentucky and began putting ads in the local paper in the town where some of his friends lived.
Tess was forty-eight when she answered Sugie’s personal ad. She had lived all her life in the mountains. Both of her previous husbands had been coal miners who became ill early in life and died in their forties. What Sugie and Tess had in common was their grief and loneliness and their dream of someday finding a sweet love. When they met, they had an instant, powerful connection.
When Sugie and Tess take their daily walks at sunset, they go hand-in-hand. They are unspeakably pleased to have found each other. People who knew Sugie thought he would remain a bachelor for the rest of his life. They thought he was just “spinning yarns” when he spoke of “when I get married…” But Sugie knew in his quiet, determined way that someday he would manifest his heart’s deepest desire. I remember what Sugie used to say: “I always knew that what Grandma Bertie told me was true. She always said, ‘There’s a lid for every pot.’”
Check out our new book!
That Which Doesn’t Kill Us: How One Couple Got Stronger at the Broken Places is newly published and has been met with rave reviews. The book is a very personal joint memoir written in alternating chapters describing their experiences during a ten-year period of their marriage in which they endured a series of challenges and ordeals that brought them to the brink of divorce. The book details the process of their descent into relationship hell as well as the process that enabled them to re-establish a connection that was stronger and more mutually fulfilling than what they had ever previously experienced.