“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside awakens.” – Carl Jung
Linda: Many people think that they are better off if they keep their expectations low. They believe that there will be less chance of being disappointed. I think that’s a shame. I always encourage those with whom I work to allow their imagination to be big, to dream a grand vision for their relationship. It’s fine to have a big vision, as long as we have an intention that will match it. If our intention is big, we will have a mighty commitment and a strong sense of responsibility to manifest it. It’s only when our expectations are for another person to bring happiness to us that we get into trouble.
It is a powerful exercise to take time separately to get in touch with our vision. Each partner can take time to both write and speak their vision of their life in general and their relationship in particular and then bring them together to see how much overlap there is. When the clarity of our vision is strong, it has an effect on our partner and draws them to work with us to manifest our joint vision.
There is a now famous experiment involving teachers who were told that they were chosen for the study because they were such gifted teachers. They were also told that because they were such gifted teachers that they were being given the gifted students to teach that year. Neither claim was true. They were regular run of the mill teachers and given a class full of students of normal intelligence. At the end of the year, the students in the classes in which the teachers were told that they had the gifted ones outperformed by a great deal, the students in the control group.
What the researchers discovered is that expectation and our belief about what is possible is a powerful factor in what will manifest.
We all carry a dream and a vision inside us of for creating a fulfilling relationship. It’s often hidden by resentments and fears. When we begin to let them go, there’s room for the vision to grow and to have substance and clarity. We begin to see it unfold right before us—the dream we’ve always carried. You could take a moment right now to allow your dream to present itself to you.
See the vision come into focus, the relationship that you truly desire, all the closeness and sharing and the trust that you’ve always wanted, a wide-open communication where you can tell each other anything, a high-level of support that empowers you to do things that you thought you couldn’t accomplish, but secretly hoped one day you could. With strong support, you now see that you can do it.
See yourself finding all the strength and the motivation to do your own work, to heal from all the wounds of the past. See yourself shedding of the limiting beliefs that formerly stopped you in your tracks.
See where you live, what kind of a home you co-create, and what kind of work you do. Who are you working with? What is the nature of your relationships with the people that you work with? Who are the people who live in your home with you? Which family members and friends do you share this abundant overflowing love with?
What form will your contribution take? What special gifts do you and your partner have, to heal some of the suffering that’s in the world? See the life clearly, that you’ve always dreamed and know with certainty that the synergy of this relationship can manifest awesome and wondrous things. By working in partnership, you are finding inner peace and joy and spreading it all around you. Put your own unique and special touches on your vision.
Visioning is important especially in the difficult times. There are times in every relationship when it is so easy to get swamped by the negative emotions of disappointment, frustration, anger, and fear. The complaints filling our mind can even cause an atmosphere of distress, which can even prompt us consider leaving the relationship. Once we vision, we see possibilities and opportunities, we put an action plan together and then start working our positivity can rise.
When the relationship is thriving, and we are no longer preoccupied with the challenges, we move into enrichment, where we are positioned well to make a larger contribution to our communities. We refer to this as “operation take it to the streets.” All the work that we do contributes to the greater well-being around us. For families are the basic units of the society. As families thrive, there are happy healthy children and adults who are successful and productive. A nation is only as strong as its individual families.
Although the vision is embroidered with details, it is important to hold it loosely because the actual unfolding can be different from what we imagine. Our commitment and focused attention assists the process of manifestation, but holding too tightly to how it must look, crosses over the line to control and slows the process.
Using our imagination to clearly visualize the outcomes we want assists, yet holding them lightly, is a strong step in the process of manifesting them. When we repeatedly, consistently use our personal power to build our vision, complete with details, our vision is likely to unfold. We can attest that we are worthy of having this magnificent relationship and declare our willingness to do everything possible to manifest our lofty vision. Our vision is the preview of coming attractions. The manifestation of the vision is the reward where we can feel the sweet satisfaction that comes with success.