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Archives for July, 2016

Commitment

The Myth of “I Should Have Done Better”

Try a bit of compassion instead
“When we know better, we do better.” --Maya Angelou

Linda: I’m from the school of thought that we are all doing the best we can with the level of consciousness that we have achieved at any give time.

People do all manner of things that hurt others and that hurt themselves, but it’s because they haven’t yet learned to operate differently. They may not be healed from past emotional wounds. They may be...
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General

The Myth of the Perfect Partner

Linda: There are common pitfalls that contribute to a diminishment of interest in sex in many long-term relationships. Such diminishment is neither natural nor inevitable. We are challenged to identify ways of responding to and neutralizing problematic situations that can, if unchecked, lead to sexual difficulties. One of the most prominent instances where longing for connection shows up in a vivid way is the sexual experience, because it's the place where we're most vulnerable. When we...
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Commitment

Every Accusation is an Autobiography

Our partner can be our mirror.


Linda: Bill was the playful one of the pair. He had a job, but striving, worry, and stress were not his style. Hard working, serious, Michelle didn’t think Bill was as responsible as she thought he should be. They argued a great deal about who would do which tasks around the house. Michelle and Bill’s arguments never seemed to get resolved.
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General

Disclosure Trumps Withholding-Part 2

Linda: Disclosure invites disclosure. There is no way to force someone to talk about himself or herself. We can only invite by taking risks ourselves. Enjoying the transparency of another is earned by building the trust to the point where the other knows that their revelations will be treated with great respect. And they trust into the certainty that their disclosures will be met with reciprocity with a similar depth and breath of disclosure.
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Commitment

Disclosure Trumps Withholding Almost Every Time-Part 1

“A hallmark of a healthy creative culture is that its people feel free to share ideas, opinions, and criticisms. Lack of candor, if unchecked ultimately leads to dysfunctional environments.” - Ed Catmull in Creativity, Inc.

Linda: Reveal don’t conceal; express don’t repress; accept don’t reject; connect don’t protect, and open don’t close, are good guidelines when committing to a partnership characterized by a high level of trust and closeness. There are so many couples where the lack of...
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Commitment

The Art of Negotiation- Part 2

Linda: So many people now are refusing to enter into this formally recognized union of marriage because they have negative associations with the institution. What if what’s true is that the institution of marriage isn’t the problem at all, but how people define it. For decades, family and community dictated what the roles of husband and wife must be, and most people conformed to those expectations. There was a certain comfort, security, and safety that came with...
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Commitment

Mastering The Art of Negotiation-Part 1

Linda: We live in a time of great cynicism about marriage. Everyone knows a friend or family member who married with great enthusiasm and love, whose relationship turned sour, ultimately ending in a bitter divorce. A multitude of people are deciding that to prevent such a painful scenario, filled with grief and heartache, they won’t get married in the first place.

But it may not be the institution of marriage itself that is at fault here, but the...
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