Archives for June, 2016

Commitment

This Could Be The Biggest Threat to Your Relationship

Charlie: It’s often referred to as ‘the invisible addiction’ because it flies under the radar. Unlike alcoholism, drug addiction, or hoarding, this addiction is not only almost impossible for an outsider to recognize, but it’s viewed by most of the population as being valuable, even, worthy of admiration. And it’s rewarded with praise, money, and a variety of other benefits. There’s only one problem with it: it’s a killer. It’s been known to destroy health (physical...
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Commitment

14 Ways to Cultivate Empathy

An antidote to being judgmental.
Linda: Some people are under the false impression that empathy is something that you either have or you don’t. They don't understand that empathy can be learned. Of course, some people are naturally more empathic than others, but there is huge room for development if there is motivation to do so. There are many good reasons to commit to the practice of becoming more empathic; one of the most important one being...
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Commitment

Empathy Makes All the Difference-Part 1

The better we listen, the less defensive our partner will be.

Linda: Empathy is defined as “the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.” Empathy results from understanding another deeply. When we look at the world from our partner’s point of view, we

begin to bridge the gap of understanding between us. When we are emotionally activated by tension, fear, and anger, it is extremely difficult to empathize with and understand the...
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Commitment

Post Traumatic Growth

“All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.” --Helen Keller

Linda: Researchers have studied people facing all kinds of adversity: loss of children, spouses and parents, loss of health due to cancer, heart disease, paralysis, HIV, rape, assault, mental illness, war zones, plane crashes, divorce, infertility, domestic violence, betrayal, imprisonment, torture, natural disasters (earth quakes, fire, flood,
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Commitment

Partner as Healer

Rescue marriage is the antidote to falling into the well of grief.
Linda: Judith Wallerstein, author of The Good Marriage, taught me the phrase “rescue marriage.”  I immediately grasped that she meant that in a marriage, there is a vast potential for helping in the process of rescuing us from the pain of our past. So many people grow up in dysfunctional families of all kinds. There are families scarred by the ravages of addiction to alcohol,...
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Commitment

Guilty of the Sin of Outdoing

Linda: We all have invisible loyalties to our family of origin. And so many of us did not have inspirational models of partnership in the families we grew up in. Perhaps we come from a home where parents divorced, were mismatched but did not separate, or we were heavily impacted by addiction, mental illness, or depression. We may have witnessed disappointment, their sacrificing by staying together “for the sake of the children,” overt hostility in the...
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General

Recovering from Adversity

When life bruises us.
A king once owned a large, pure diamond of which he was justly proud, for it had no equal anywhere. One day, the diamond accidentally sustained a deep scratch. The king called in the most skilled diamond cutters and offered them a great reward if they could remove the imperfection from his treasured jewel. But no one could repair the blemish. The king was sorely distressed.

After some time a gifted lapidary came to...
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Commitment

Making Room For It All-Part 2

There is room for shadow too, both ours and theirs.
“Life is a pit full of pitfalls designed by a devious deity for our conscious evolution.” - Wavy Gravy

Linda: When we engage in the process of making room for it all, there is likely to be some things that need to let go of so that we are not cramped, and there is space for the new to flow in. This may feel like a sacrifice,...
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