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Archives for July, 2014


If You Don’t Have Something Nice To Say, Maybe You Should Say It Anyway

“A failure to confront is a failure to love.” Scott Peck    

No one likes to be confronted, even in a nice way, for failing to keep an agreement. And many of us have come up with some very effective ways to discourage others from giving us feedback that we’d rather not hear. The problem with keeping the messenger from giving us the message is that we may be denying ourselves valuable information that could...
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When It Comes To Togetherness In Relationships, More Isn’t Always Better

There’s not much question that an awful lot of relationships suffer from a deficiency of quality time together, a condition that greatly diminishes the experience
of connection shared by the couple. Other responsibilities and commitments have a way of winning the competition for our time, leaving us feeling resentful, frustrated, tired, lonely, or some combination of the above. While insufficient connection time is unquestionably a common phenomenon that afflicts many relationships, it is by no means...
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Even true lovers sometimes feel they’ve fallen out of love.

Linda: Years ago when our kids were small there was a recurring scenario that got played out a lot between Charlie and me. It had to do with my wanting connection and Charlie being distracted or preoccupied and unavailable to be present with me. These situations would often deteriorate into conflict since neither of us was particularly skilled at handling our differences very consciously. This situation would usually occur when Charlie would return from...
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Feeling Unappreciated, Taken Advantage of, or Overburdened? Try This.

It’s never too late to put in these corrections!

(Charlie): The other day I caught myself feeling like a victim. Again. I’ve been writing and teaching about responsibility and accountability long enough to know that whenever I feel victimized by someone or something, there’s usually (like about of the time) something for me to learn from that experience. And about of the time, I’m not, at least initially, very enthusiastic to find out what...
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Sometimes Not Helping Really Helps!

Photo: Konstantin Leonov

The toughest lessons can be the most powerful ones.

(Charlie) It isn't always necessary to travel to exotic places to have enlightening experiences.  In fact, some of my most enriching moments have come from my local neighborhood, or in this case, my health club.  The other day, after spending an hour on the cardio machines, I was enjoying the peace and stillness of being alone in the club's steam...
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