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Archives for March, 2014


What Really Matters

Anders Young via Compfight

It was the summer of 1990 and Linda and I were finally on the getaway that we had been looking forward to for years. Both of us were fried to a crisp from months of overwork. We had been hanging on by our fingernails, until the kids left for three weeks of...
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Humbled: The Price of Wisdom

Sometimes the willingness to feel bad can be the price of great wisdom.

Charlie: One of the things that can be so frustrating about relationships is that it's often at those very times that you think that you're finally "getting it down", that you get whacked upside the head by something that really humbles you and brings you to your knees. Linda and I had an experience like this after we'd been together for 14 years....
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Going for the Gusto!

The willingness to risk authenticity fuels romantic passion.

Linda: Back in the old days, at the very beginning of my relationship with my husband Charlie, what I wanted most in my life was the comfort and security of a committed partnership. I grew up in a family where chaos and struggle ruled and I was determined not to replay that scenario in my adult life. What I wanted was peace and predictability. Because I, like most...
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The Greatest Thing You’ll Ever Learn

One of the great things about traveling, especially the kind of travel that takes you to far away places where people have customs, practices, beliefs and values that are different from your own, is that you get to see how different people can be in some ways and how similar we are in others. A wise person once said, "People are people." In other words, the essential concerns, longings, desires, fears, and aspirations, of...
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Downsizing Your Attachments to Preferences

Loosen your white-knuckle grip on your expectations.

Kristen: Ever since I was a little girl, my fantasy picture of a happy family has included a big beautiful house with a big yard and a dog, a lab. The pictures in my mind’s eye were vivid, and my attachments to them were very strong. When I married Joel, he was a computer whiz, and was very financially fit. It didn’t hurt...
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Why You Can’t Always “Just Do It.”

Did you ever wonder why despite your best efforts and your most sincere desire and your absolutely clear intention to hold your temper, listen with interest and patience to your partner, offer more acknowledgement and appreciation, give up your relentless grip on control, remember to say “I love you” more often, or keep any of the other resolutions that you may have made to yourself that you knew would improve your relationships, much more often...
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Looking for Trust in All the Wrong Places

It’s often in the last place you’d ever think of.

Gregory Bastien via Compfight

Relationships don’t begin with trust. Trust is built day-by-day by two people who demonstrate trust-worthiness through their words and actions. Trust is developed conversation by conversation, by working through conflicts and demonstrating kindness, generosity, and consideration.

In a moment of unconsciousness, anger, or fear, we can do great damage to the...
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