A Surprising Finding about Romance

LindaSandra Murray, professor at State University of New York in Buffalo, researched the strength of illusion in romantic couples.

Her inventory asked both married and dating couples to rate themselves, their actual partner, and an imaginary partner on both strengths and faults. Then Murray asked...


Are You a Champion of Repair?

LindaNo matter how hard we try, there are sure to be breakdowns of all kinds, misunderstandings, broken agreements, not having our needs met, unhealed wounds that get activated and other provocations that send us straight into conflict. It’s not the negative interactions themselves that...


Sometimes a Marriage Has to Die in Its Present Form

Linda: Many couples know from their own experience how easy it is to become trapped in their roles in maintaining the family system. The pitfalls of such entrapment include feelings of disconnection, emptiness, loneliness, resentment, and ultimately apathy and despair. Without a change in the system, the only possible outcomes are divorce or a dead marriage. Barry and Maya had neglected their relationship for years, and drifted into patterns of complacency. By the time they had...


All The Best Lovers Are Gracious Receivers

Linda: In the following story, you can see that being aware of howwe give and receive can make a huge difference. For an exchange to work, the receiver has to consciously make room to receive what is needed, welcome fully what is actually available in the present, and feel the gratitude that appears when one receives deeply. This way of consciously receiving inspires the giver to gather, offer, aim, and release to the other the fullness of...

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