15 thoughts on “Female vs Male Friendships: 10 Key Differences

  • January 31, 2018 at 9:27 am

    Men also have the need for emotional attatchments with friendships, and the reason why male-male friendships are so emotionally cold is the fact that the construct of masculinity has negatively affected how men form emotional bonds with their friends. Men are afraid of opening up or saying they love their friends as men are conditioned to not show emotion in todays society.
    I would love to know more about your thoughts between male-female friendships and how that comes into play. Also how is a male/female affected when a majority of their friendships are of the opposite gender.

    Reply
    • January 31, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      Hi Adam; I like your comment; I can only speak from my own experiences how the female/male relationship is affected when my friends are mostly the opposite gender. I prefer male friends because they are interesting to talk with, they are fun to hang out with, they like to do things, and they like to be outdoors. Because most my friends are men, I really do not have any female friends, and god knows I have tried, but I just get so damned bored with the lack of good conversation because I am not interested in weddings, babies, and family. I like history, cars, hiking, exploring. Suffice to say what happens in this scenario for me is that people assume the worst, unfortunately, and then gossip spreads and then next thing I know I have a reputation that precedes me, and because gossip spreads like wildfire I know none of it is true. So this is one thing that takes place when females have male friends and no female friends. But I just go hiking and am happy and I don’t let it bother me but it is something that does take place.

      Reply
  • January 31, 2018 at 11:32 am

    Indeed,, I hope people really capitalize the TEND in these generalizations.. a lot more men , imho, would like to engage in .. or move toward.. so called woman like relationships. But assumptions on both sides would be that it would be unmanly ( because of generalizations such as here made ) to do so.. Hence some men,, like myself and others I know,, get down on themselves for fear that it will be taken by some , that they are less than… weak?.. and often feminine or maybe gay..
    I appreciate the authors use of the word TEND,, let’s emphasize this word and consider that forming boxes can sometimes put up walls and keep people from moving out of the boxes they are put in… and this is a sad result.

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  • January 31, 2018 at 2:03 pm

    I’m female, and have no problems forming long standing platonic friendships with males and there is no sexual attraction either, whereas, female to female is much more demanding. I enjoy male humor and with male friends we’ve had so many laughs. I do not have a need to be in regular contact, and neither do I like the intrusiveness that comes from females or, the way women get all bent out of shape when I’m not in frequent contact. I don’t like conversations about hair, make up, nails, and babies, or the competitiveness that goes with it. I can go weeks or months before contacting a female friend, and always, I’m met with a grilling on where have I been etc., and others have cut me out of their life because they’ve taken offense at me. How very silly!

    In my youth I loved competing with the boys since I was an athletic girl. I would consider a male a good friend, but I don’t with females because they gossip far to much and tell their friends etc. Yip, the guys do it for me and I’m not a lesbian either.

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    • February 1, 2018 at 1:35 am

      Hi Heather,

      Everything you said, I agree with a capital T! My background is eerily similar. Women have way too much drama, too emotional, and definitely not rational enough for me.

      Have a great day 🙂

      Reply
      • February 1, 2018 at 1:58 pm

        TomBoyII, I so agree with you.

        Reply
  • January 31, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    I read your article re: male-male vs female-female friendships, I found it quite interesting. I am a female that leans toward side by side and interactive. I find this type of friendship is healthier and a lot more fun and a whole lot easier to stay friends in. Because I lean this way in my interactions with people and friends, and because of the general norm for how women conduct themselves and are perceived, it makes it very difficult for a female like myself to make friends because I am not that huge on talking secrets and intimacy. I absolutely enjoy a very intellectually stimulating conversation with my mind wrapped in a variety of topics and subjects. So I seek out the more intellectual and interesting type of person, because, frankly marriage, babies, and weddings bore me to death, and I really couldn’t care much about what your family is doing. I quite like to be left alone the majority of time. So when I do talk it is because it really needs to be said or I am having a very good conversation with someone. To talk just for the sake of talking is just not something I am any good at. I don’t even know how to beat around the bush, and what I say is what I mean with no lines between to be read or guessed. Because of these traits of mine I find people do not quite get me because I am a female who is logical, rational, simplistic, and practical. So I find men don’t know what to do with me and women usually don’t take kindly to me unless they lean the same way.
    So, I pose the question: What would you write about in regard to those who do not fit in the norm of what you did write about?
    I hope I get to read what you write in the PsycheCentralNewsletter

    Reply
  • January 31, 2018 at 2:55 pm

    Awful, just awful. Going backwards in time to male/female stereotypes in this day and age just isn’t gonna fly.

    Reply
    • February 1, 2018 at 5:45 pm

      Eric, I absolutely agree with you.

      Reply
  • January 31, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    I don’t know if I believe coincidences, but this article couldn’t come at a better time. I have been wrestling with whether or not I should be upfront with the other person in the relationship I am in. We are both 65 years old and it is new for the both of us to be in just platonic male/female relationship. His wife & I were best friends with in high school. She (his wife) was the Godmother to my first born son & I named my daughter after her. My first husband was his best friend & she was my 1st hubby’s cousin. We kept in contact with each through the years. Our kids have remained friends.

    Almost four years ago, he lost his wife. After the first holidays without her, I called as a friend to see how it went for him and his children. They are adults with children of their own. After exchanging phone calls, etc., I agreed to go out to dinner with him. He seemed interested in me and was so polite & gentlemanly. After going out to dinner several times, I finally got up the courage to ask him if he would escort me to an event or two I was interested in. The first time he called & said he had bleeding hemorrhoids and he needed to beg out. This has happened several times. He has a different excuse for each turn down. When I asked him to come have supper (i’d cook) at my house & go to a movie, he came and ate supper, but got deathly ill when it came time to go to the movie. I finally got the idea, he wasn’t interested in participating in anything I was interested in. I continued letting him take me out to dinner whenever he would ask.

    After all these years, I had hoped we’d get closer and maybe feel comfortable about maybe sharing a holiday or two or vacationing together. If I bring it up, he seems to totally ignore me. Plus he seems to shut me out during the holidays & when he goes on vacation. And, then when he gets back, he’ll call me up & ask me to dinner as if nothing has happened.

    Your article brought to light to my contrary. What males what out of a relationship is not necessarily what women want out of a relationship. It can save you a headache by knowing the difference.

    Reply
  • February 1, 2018 at 5:58 pm

    This article is so spot on. As women we tend to over analyze ones motives. We need to just take some cues from our male counterparts. Again great article.

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  • February 2, 2018 at 2:43 am

    I feel like you avoided some issues to be politically correct. Some were brought up by the comments.

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  • February 4, 2018 at 12:20 am

    You lost me from your headline. I’m a gay man, and believe me when I’ve shown up for a date with clothes that match my date’s, BOTH of us hate it. Even though we are totally “out” as gay men, we do NOT wish to appear as twins or joined at the hip. It draws attention and is embarrassing.
    Sorry, but your perception of this is a total miss for me and everyone I know (straight people too).

    Reply
    • February 5, 2018 at 2:48 pm

      Hi RC, I totally get what you mean… my son is gay and he too would not like it if his partner dressed like him. Not at all.

      Reply
  • March 5, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    I have a question. 5 years ago I met a guy online who had had a terrible accident leaving him a paraplegic. I met him once all those years ago and felt a deep bond with him close to love, almost like we had known each other in a previous. He said he needed time to adjust to his injuries. We remained friends, though we didn’t meet up again. There is a geographical distance of 150 miles. Recently he contacted me again and I have been travelling to see him every 2 or 3 weeks and I enjoy our time together very much. But when I come home, it’s like I cease to exist and contact just stops unless I keep it going. He knows how I feel and I’ve asked him what he wants from our friendship, but he simply doesn’t respond although it seems, on the surface, that he enjoys my company. He’s become a little bit more cheeky with me when I’m there but stops short atm of anything more intimate. We are not youngsters, more like close to our sixties. He never talks about his emotions, almost like he’s buried them in his boots where there’s no feeling. I just don’t know what to think and how to move things forward even if that’s a possibility. Any advice can offer would be most welcome.

    Reply
 

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