6 thoughts on “Why Do We Want the People We Can’t Have? 9 Reasons

  • July 30, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    I am a male 61, never married. It seems like that’s been a problem all of my life. It was always because I was interested in a woman and then she would either be happily taken or not interested. On the flip side, I had women very interested in me and I did not feel the same way about them.

    It’s very hard for me to be in love and get interested in a woman who does not want me. So it takes me no time to lose interest if the woman is not interested in me. In the movies, when a man is persistent, he would always get the woman. He would know what to say or a set of circumstances happen to make the woman interested in him. It’s not like that in real life. Also, with women I were interested in years ago, I could never understand why a rejected man would still try to win the woman over.

    • September 5, 2018 at 7:30 am

      I think this article has answered to your question. My humble opinion is that you simply wanted unmatched women., If there was a compatible lady she would have felt same with you. You can try to understand in a realistic way who you are, whom you want, what you you expect from a partner and how much you are ready offer to her. For example, if you are 60 and you want a 30 years lady it is natural to be rejected, unless you compensate age difference by loads of money or so. This way I have evaluated myself and nowadays I have found my match considering to get how much I give, not more or less.

  • November 1, 2018 at 8:37 am

    I found this article very interesting and helpful in understanding myself.
    I especially recognized myself in;
    ~ We are excited about the thrill of the chase
    ~ We are attracted to the unknown or unpredictability of the other person.

    Being attracted to the unknown and unpredictability; especially hit me. I had never thought that it has a component to it the problem with wanting what one can not have.  Somehow it summarized me as a person;  being spiritual;  wanting to sense more than this world can offer and also completely Loving    (Positive) surprises! Getting likes on Facebook or even  getting an sms is a reward to my system!  And of course the thrill of the chase – so far – has set me off – big time!!
    From this article I now sense that it seems to be how I am wired kind of.  That I have a sensitive reward system with all of its hormones. I hope I now can start making conscious choices; going for the thrill or a more wholesome relationship. Reeducate my brain…
    Thank you

  • March 2, 2019 at 10:36 am

    I love someone that is a lot younger and has chosen to be alone. I want to get past my feelings. Please

  • March 2, 2019 at 10:43 am

    I am in a dead marriage and love someone that I will never be with because of him profession and age. Why do I keep hoping and pursuing this dead end.

    • March 2, 2019 at 11:39 am

      Hello Sandy,

      In my opinion it would be best to resolve the issues within your marriage before consider moving on with someone new. Sometimes when we are in a relationship that is no longer fulfilling we make the assumption that something or someone would be the answer to our problems. Yearning for something we know is not right for us or someone we know we cannot have is often a form of escapism from other more pressing issues.


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