12 Signs You Are Falling Out of Love with Your Partner
The act of meeting and falling in love can be an exciting and thrilling experience for most people. The whole “newness” of learning about and experiencing feelings and events with someone new can be intoxicating. Sometimes when we experience something new and exciting with someone we make the assumption he or she is “the one”. Happily, we start mentally envisioning a future together, hopeful we will always feel this way about our partner. Love can be a very capricious thing. One minute you think you could never love or share your life with anyone else and the next you’re wondering how long you could endure the relationship. However, most people don’t usually question whether or not they’ve actually fallen in love. In fact, most people believe themselves to be “in love” before what they’re experiencing is actually love. It’s safe to say some people are actually in love with the idea or the very thought of being in love.
One of the most challenging things for a couple to come to terms with is the potential end of a relationship they once thought would be forever. Admitting to yourself that you’ve fallen out of love is one of the toughest things in the world. People who question whether or not they should stay in a relationship with their partner are usually experiencing many conflicting emotions or have been struggling with feelings of leaving the relationship for a long time. Most partners have tried many different ways to keep their love alive, remain in love with their partner, or want to bring back that “old loving feeling” they once shared in the relationship. Failure to get back what is presumed to be lost can lead to difficulty emotionally and physically connecting.
12 Potential Signs You Are Falling Out of Love with Your Partner
- You avoid talking about the future.
Typically, when partners are in love they begin to make plans for a future together. However, when people start to feel uncertain about a relationship or sharing a future together, future planning can become very difficult topic to discuss.
- Passion diminishes.
When parties are in love they typically like to express that love through intimacy. Once the love in a relationship begins to fade the passion, rate, and quality of the couple’s intimacy also diminishes.
- Conflict does not get resolved.
Disagreements during the course of a relationship is not only expected, but common. People in happy relationships can communicate in a healthy manner that will allow them to resolve differences and put an end to conflict. Couples in a relationship that seemed to be locked in the “same old fight” may not be able to move beyond the very reason thing causing the conflict. Failure to move beyond the reasons for the conflict that is satisfactory for both partners can lead to an ongoing cycle of arguing without resolution.
- Communication becomes almost obligatory.
Typically, when we are in love we want to talk about everything, we want to know everything there is to know about our partner. Unfortunately, when love and passion begins to fade in the relationship our questions and communication diminishes. For many people once the relationship quality starts to decline, the communication, quality of communication, and the frequency of communication becomes less and less. When couples do communicate it can feel almost like they have to rather than they want to.
- You start to develop a wandering eye.
Sure we notice our surroundings and the people that come in and out of eyeshot. However, those that are losing interest in their partner and the relationship usually experience a lingering gaze, or become fixed visually on someone else, which is not characteristic of his/her previous behaviors. Every couple has different ideas of what is acceptable when it comes to how each person contributes and behaves in the relationship when they are not together. People in a monogamous relationship that begin to develop significant feelings for someone else is a sure sign there is something wrong with or missing from his or her current relationship. A wandering eye is a clear warning sign that you may be falling out of love with your partner. Some people might even start to fantasize about a relationship with the person of interest rather than their current partner.
- When you reminisce about your past with your partner it includes more negative than positive.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that negative feelings can color our perception of an event, thing, or person. For a lot of people once a relationship begins to sour our perception of previous events and memories can become distorted. Things we once thought of fondly can now produce ill feelings. It is also common for issues that were once non issues to become a source of anger and contempt.
- Being around other couple’s elicit feelings of jealousy.
Being around a couple that appear to genuinely love being together can be a very difficult thing for someone struggling in their relationship to witness. Partners who find seeing a happy couple makes them feel jealous or uncomfortable, may be shocked to learn this “jealousy” can be indicative of a much larger issue. Feelings of jealousy can force partners to see the contrast between the other couple’s relationship and their own.
- The primary reason for staying in the relationship is not love.
If you remain in the relationship for reasons other than love you are more likely to experience feelings of regret and resentment. If you are financially reliant on your partner and you worry that you would struggle to fund your own life if your relationship ended, then the relationship has probably already ended. Some partners may also stay in the relationship out of fear of being alone.
- You find it difficult to stay committed to the relationship or no longer care about the problems permeating the relationship.
Couples that experience feelings of sadness or anger at the issues plaguing their relationship are still invested in the relationship. Once the quality of the relationship has taken on negative characteristics partners may not even care if they ever resolve their relationship issues. Unfortunately, when partners become indifferent, or are no longer affected by the others lack of affection, expressing disregard and disrespect can occur.
- Your priorities have changed.
Couples that are growing apart usually experience a shift in priorities. As we age priorities are expected to change, however, if those changes appear to be in conflict with what your partner wants or desires for him or herself than the relationship may be well on its way toward ending.
- You no longer enjoy your partner’s company.
One of the most significant signs one or both parties have fallen out of love with each other may include no longer liking or respecting the other. Partners do not have to like or even enjoy all of the things their partner enjoys, as there will always be incompatibilities. However, when negative feelings about your partner begin to emerge replacing the positive feelings you once had the relationship is typically headed towards its demise.
- You have fallen for someone else.
People who are in a committed, loving relationship usually have eyes for only their partner. Most of what each partner does while in a relationship is for the benefit of their partner and the relationship. However, when one partner or both has fallen for some else he or she will devote time, energy, and attention to that person. This attention will be taken away from the current partner and their relationship, replaced by dedication and a desire to focus on the needs and well-being of the new person of interest.
Like many new and budding relationships, there is a frenzy of constant communication between the partners. However, like most things in life couples have to work to sustain the quality and the closeness of the relationship by making an effort to spend quality time together. Couples in love enjoy being together, spending time together, or will make personal sacrifices for the sake of the relationship. When couples avoid spending time together or no longer enjoy being together, communication and passion will suffer. If conversation between you and your partner feels superficial, and you discover you are talking about things that have no real importance, your emotional intimacy is no longer optimal. If the communication you have with your partner appear to take on a nagging undertone than the love you once had for your partner and the relationship may be changing.
Bates-Duford, T. (2016). 12 Signs You Are Falling Out of Love with Your Partner. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 30, 2017, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationship-corner/2016/08/12-signs-you-are-falling-out-of-love-with-your-partner/