17 thoughts on “5 Signs You’re Dating A Cheating Narcissist

  • August 29, 2018 at 5:50 pm

    Wish I had seen the red flags! My narcissist did a real number on me, it’s been 5 months since I left and I still have some wounds that I’m trying to heal. I have thought about reaching out to his new girlfriend, but realize that he will just tell lies about me to her like he did to me about his ex-girlfriend before me. Thank you for a great article! I no longer blame myself.

    Reply
    • July 14, 2019 at 9:03 pm

      I am telling you to tell her. My husbands 2 ex’s tried to warn me when he & I first got together and I didnt believe them. HOWEVER, it wasn’t long after that I began to start seeing what they had told me as truth. Had they not have told me, then now I would be sitting here thinking it was all in my head. So please do warn her, for she will soon see that you were telling the truth.

      Reply
  • August 31, 2018 at 2:38 am

    This article perfectly describes the man i was seeing for three years. I’m no contact for almost four months and glad of it. But it’s also time to not just recover, but name and shame. These men should be publicly outed and data protection be damned. There should be a law against these types of men and the abuse they inflict. Well written and a real eye-opener. Thanks for helping.xx

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  • October 16, 2018 at 3:27 pm

    THIS IS OUT OF POCKET! I am so freaking rocked by this and all of your articles! You just saved me Shahida Arabi and I am forever in your debit. I was with with the very end of the spectrum of narcissist for the last three years. A year and a half ago I started recording everything, not knowing what was going on however that something was not right. Then I educated myself. Then I started a YouTube channel “Narcissist Decoded”, seeking validation and to help educate others. Shahida I cannot express in words what your writings have done for me. Even with all the recorded proof I have (only a small amount is on the channel yet and that’s 21 videos!) there was a part of me now wanting to let go. THIS ARTICLE DID IT FOR ME! I could just kiss you! Every single thing you said here… to a T! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Please check out the channel. I have so much content including thousands of text in PDF and hundreds of voicemails and 60 videos of physical, mental emotional and spiritual abuse! I even have text and screen shots of “boyfriends” she had a long the way that I reached out to and became friends with. We are all the same guys. Same caring, giving empathetic men. I want to help you anyway I can. This is not ok and like you said in one of your other articles, the focus needs to be put on them and not the empath. I was not co-dependent three years ago. That’s why she came into my life! I had one and she sucked it dry! I own a small business and innovated three products and took them to market. In three years she has all but ran me and my business into the ground. Email me and I will tell you all and provide content for you. I am away from her however she is using the local police as a weapon against me. They believe every word she says and will not even listen or watch anything I have. It’s so not right.

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNCw-2mhUjKDIaSbTd3YKng?

    Kris

    Reply
    • November 15, 2018 at 2:51 am

      Wow your story is so similar to mine except my ex narc is male. He totally ruined my buisness & relationship i had with a couple partners, he figured he was special enough to not show up at our buisness all week but pop in friday for a check, didnt go well with anyone. He munipulated me into helping him with $ even when i said i couldnt afford to help he would either cry & give me a sob story or tell me how mean i am & how he would do anything for me. I think he ment he would do anything to me not for me😧 i truly believe we will all heal from the mess they created & will definitly become a stronger person & learn from our mistakes. Hope your doing better

      Reply
  • October 25, 2018 at 1:03 pm

    Yep. THIS precisely describes my husband of 10 years. He’s out-of-town AGAIN(allegedly for work) lying about where he’s even at, and when I question him about his whereabouts and lies, he makes it all out to be MY fault!

    Reply
  • December 1, 2018 at 2:57 am

    OMG! 15 years, 5 years of marriage (where he bought her sex paraphernalia ON OUR ANNIVERSARY and bought me sweats and socks!) Of this BS! I wish I had known this in month 2 of the 15 yes. I’ve wasted so much of my life. My psyche is scarred. I’m a codependent, but I won’t be for long. His issue may never leave. God help me (and him}. And he sleeps peacefully every night and promises nothing, or in little effort, yet requires trust swiftly. Your article is spot on! Thank you so much. 🎉 I’M NOT CRAZY… Well maybe just a little by now 😆

    Reply
  • January 19, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    To anyone who is reading this and looking for answers on this personality disorder, please let me affirm YOU ARE NOT CRAZY! For a minute I was convinced I was the abuser, until I realized it was my core self who was fighting and acting out because I deep down knew this treatment was not right.

    Please keep going, keep reading, keep praying do whatever you need to do (healthy ways of course) to get through this.

    I am rooting for you, and myself as I am still healing as well.
    I do not know you, but please know that I feel, love and care for you.
    Sincerely,
    Your fellow abuse survivor

    Reply
    • January 30, 2019 at 9:44 pm

      Thank you Emily I needed to hear that. Narcissistic people will really have you doubt and blame yourself due to them playing victim for all the unnecessary drama filled bs they constantly put you through. It’s like a never ending cycle. First their nice,clingy/loving and then in a snap of a finger they turn distant,cold,disrespectful for no reason with zero warning. It’s so draining and you feel emotionally beat down. Your comment gave me hope that one day I will get pass this emotionally /mentally draining situation.

      Reply
      • February 17, 2019 at 3:08 am

        Ladies, I thought I am the only one – it made me think if I am also a narcissist or the toxic one but I realized no – too many red flags I kept on ignoring and ignoring – thank God I am getting away from it all now. I am thankful God is guiding me on the right path. I really don’t care now what he will do – it’s a cycle to him – he will not stop. The inconsistency is so spot on – the lovebombing and the devalue and discard been thru that for 3 years and it’s totally totally exhausting. But because we love them, we hang on but yes there really is enough is enough, thank you for this blog and all the others, this is really helping us – those who have actually experienced it.

        Reply
    • February 22, 2019 at 2:39 am

      Sadly, i just got the final confirmation from his stupid old hs ex FB (gotta love the newest cheaters paradise or any social media for that matter) that he is all the pile of dogp### i knew he was for the last decades, yes decades agonizing years. I have been publicly humiliated, disrespected and dishonored by the man who i foolishly made children with and raised his beotch of a daughter for. He and the fmaily have tons of money and now alientated me from children who chose to stay with him, despite all they saw, becuase he has no rules pays for everything and buys their loyalties. I now have to actaully not continue to try to have a relationship with my kids because it requires me only seeing them at his place, they refuse to come to me and they are old enough i cannot make them. I can’t imagine ever trusting a man again or myself to spot the monster from non-monsters. The women who knowingly follow and FB cheat, flirt etc with these men also are accountable, not to the same extent, but in my case they all were in relationships as well. I now have to delete my fb as i friended allof his freinds to get to the truth and now he is friends with all of my friends, so unless i go and privately email all 400 they will never know the truth about how evil he is. I have watched his friends on fb witness these inappropriate conversations and said NOTHING TO HIM WHILE HE SPOKE TO THESE BROADS KNOWING I WAS “HIS GIRL,” BUT I was weak and damaged and thought best to stick it out for my kids to have mom and dad together…you just exist in a brain fog, its a state where your brain cannot process this love of your life is actaully capable and commiting such atrocities to you while bombing you with love in your private home. Difficult to explain, those of you have experienced it know what I mean. So, when i should be sleeping i have to yet process another devastating truth…he has my home, my kids, the respect of the community as he has made me out to be the cheater/liar/abandoner of our kids/ and so many other things. I’m exhausted and beyond wounded, but will get up and do what I must do and pray for strength to evventually tell him, without needing his permission, that I am not going to be in any physical or emotional relationship. I cannot imagine how much more destruction he will bring to my life, but I’m hoping to salvage at least 1 friendship from fb and start a new page and have some sort of relationship with my children. Please pray and send positive thoughts my way. 53 and starting life is not a place anyone should ever be, but I accept I put myslef here, and I’ll make it out away eventually. Strenght and hugs to us all Anne

      Reply
      • February 25, 2019 at 7:51 pm

        Your story breaks my heart. I will be praying for you every day. This is a hard thing to recover from and your losses are so heartbreaking. I hope you can feel the prayers being offered up on your behalf. Together, we can break free, start again, and find a safe, quiet, happy, content life! With you in the pain and the healing, sister!

        Reply
    • July 31, 2019 at 5:53 pm

      Hi Emily. I just needed to read your message tonight. My ex husband is a total narcissist and I have 2 sons with him.

      We split 6 months ago and he is still trying to control me. I actually asked my family today if I am the narcissist because he can get to play with my head so much. Thank you xx

      Reply
    • August 17, 2019 at 6:25 am

      Thank you Emily

      Reply
  • July 5, 2019 at 5:59 pm

    These articles are so refreshing and healing for my soul. I am recovering from a year and a half of horrific abuse from my ex boyfriend…and this read is dead on about the CHEATING. Even when I was giving him all the sex he wanted , I constantly felt that he was having sex with other women.
    One incident upset me the most… after moving all his nice clothes shoes and cologne into MY HOME, the very next weekend after telling me he had no money to spend on us going out…. he jumped outside polished up his car and spent the night out. I called him all through the night and early morning and when I had enough of his silent treatment of not answering his phone or texts, I packed up all his stuff NEATLY and delivered it safely to his MOTHERS house. When I rang the doorbell she had a look on her face that all us women know and all I said was it is nice finally meeting you, but I can’t have your sons stuff at my home if he can’t come home….
    Needless to say when he got the news he was embarrassed and livid and even threatened me to come get his clothes , iron and hang everything back up or else it was over and I told him to go straight to hell But he hoovered me back in and this time he really punished me with verbal physical and mental abuse. He was relentless in trying to destroy me . I even felt that he wanted me to die or kill myself . It’s still hard for me to wrap my brain around a man who literally does not care how much hurt and pain they intentionally cause one or many individuals and just walk away happy knowing they caused you hurt and mental harm.
    I have nightmares, sweats, and have developed a nerve disorder after all his abuse, mental games, and cruel treatment of me. I am a fighter so I am back in the gym losing all the weight I gained dealing with him, I am trying to slowly get back into dating but really just interested in surrounding myself with family and friends that I know TRULY LOVE ME

    Reply
  • July 29, 2019 at 9:20 pm

    I feel so much better reading this article, so well written and true. For over 12 years I dated on-and-off a man exactly described in this article with periods of him “ghosting out” and only reappearing again with a seemingly good explanation, or I thought. He is in the oil business as a well control drilling supervisor/consultant; and has traveled all over the world, offshore and land. Our entire relationship was long distance since we lived in different cities and he’d be on a well site for months. Within the 1st yr I fell madly in love with him and he was my knight in shining armor during a difficult period caring for my mother with Alzheimer’s. But even with the red flags that begin to emerge and words of concern from my friends, it still did not stop me from seeing him, I simple choose to ignore only to discover he was cheating on me probably from the beginning. Months later asking for forgiveness, I foolishly took him back BUT I NEVER TRUSTED HIM ENTIRELY AGAIN. Nor did I want to marry him after that. For the last year and 1/2 I was seeing him again but from the beginning certain facts did not add up and the red flags I could no longer ignore. I finally did a background check on him and discovered he is MARRIED!! I felt so used, disgusted, hurt but most of all ANGRY! I unknowingly became his mistress and his dirty little secret. After a few months thinking of all the hurt he’s inflected on myself and past women who could do nothing, I sent a very long letter to his wife about our long history together, past and present but described the personality of a narcissist warning her he is incapable of being faithful and will always cheat. I strongly believe she needed to know her marriage based on a lie and get out of the relationship now because it’s just a matter of time before he finds another woman for his thrills,
    I wish I had this article years ago but thank you now.

    Reply
  • August 19, 2019 at 7:41 am

    This article perfectly describes a 3 year relationship I just experienced with a man. He talks as though he is a wonderful, committed, faithful, caring man. In reality, he was having sex with multiple women. When I caught him in the act he told me “I’m not trying with you ever again”. This after telling me how much he loved me, missed me (I was out of town for the day) and wanted to cuddle with me, earlier that same day. Truly sick.

    Reply
 

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